How to Stop Manipulating Yourself Into Settling

We manipulate ourselves every day in some way and while it is not always a bad thing depending on the circumstances and the reasons behind this , it can also be one of the fastest ways to losing track of you real end goal(s). 

There are a host of ways and reasons why we may manipulate ourselves, and that includes trying to feel better about a situation, talking ourselves into  doing things  that really we don’t want to do, trying to protect our reputation and/ image,  including staying out later with friends, when really we want to go home, but don’t want them to think you’re a ‘stick in the mud’, rationalize why someone was mean or unprofessional to us, just so we can clear the deal…and the list can go on and on.

The really big challenge with self – manipulation is when we get lost in the lie so deeply and so quickly, that we no longer know which way is actually up; when we tell ourselves that we no longer know what we want or that we should give up on a certain huge outcome that we actually desire.

This is what can lead us to settling for what we have right now, even as we KNOW deep down that it is not what we truly want.

I liken it to when the waiter screws up your order, and instead of calmly explaining this is not in fact what you wanted, you accept the slip-up because of what ever excuse you come up with at the time.

Only it’s times one thousand.

Self-manipulation is not all it’s cracked up to be, when we’re actively doing it to take away our own hopes, dreams and giving up on what our real end goals.

It’s not ok, when we self manipulate out of fear, desperation or anger, because then, we are not pushing ourselves into a better zone, rather we are pulling away from the journey of happiness and growth only to end up entering the bad lands.

 If your feelings are NOT coming from an authentic place within you, then the lie, no matter the worthy cause will start to burst out of you like Poison Ivy’s vines and when that happens, it will cause you to feel all sorts of emotions you’d rather not, all while doubting yourself and getting even more tangled up in the lie-vines.

I’ll tell you my own story with self-manipulation gone wrong!

I self-manipulated myself for about 6 years, telling myself I was happy with my lot in life, while I was not. 

During that time, I would have told anyone that I was happy, that yes life was rough but I was making due. I would have lied to your face and said I believed it was all going to get better.

And to protect my lies, I pushed down and tried to BURY those urges, those whispers of dreams that resonated too loudly within me.

You know, those fantasies that feel right, but make no real sense because of where you are in your life right now?

Those day dreams that pull and tug at you and haunt your days because really they are exactly what you deeply want and need, but it makes you feel sad because you’ve already decided they are not realistic. And you know on some level that you’re killing off your own potential.

  I almost got myself to believe that I was happy and everything was just fine after a while of constant repetition, but it just refused to stick. 

How could it?

The truth was that I wasn’t that happy about the life I was living or the lack of control over where I was going to be at any hour of the day. I was not happy about feeling trapped and unable to just embrace that feeling that comes with truly happily living!

In the end, I had to stop trying to run from myself and really face it all.



What awaits you:

Ashlee spills the tea on how she got her self to stop settling for way less than she actually wanted.

Exercises and tips on how to deal with the thoughts and limiting beliefs that keep you playing small.

One of the best ways to stop settling for thins in your life revealed.

How honestly makes it all easier to go after your dreams and what you truly desire.


8 thoughts on “How to Stop Manipulating Yourself Into Settling

  1. I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a
    blog that’s both educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the
    head. The problem is an issue that too few folks are speaking intelligently about.
    I’m very happy I found this during my search for something relating to this.

    Like

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