In the last post, we talked about some of the ways we can repurpose our limiting beliefs and even broke them down to specific situations!
Today, I’m spilling the tea on how to rewire your mindset, which is a fancy way of saying changing your perspective on your goals and your mental blocks.
We’re going to be looking at the things that cause resistance around your goals and how to blast them back into the abyss that they dared to fly up from in the first place.
So how do you go about changing your perspective on these things in real time?
You * drum roll * start reconnecting to yourself.
Here’s the thing, a lot of us are so disconnected from ourselves that if we didn’t live in this body, we would have no idea of who we were.
We spend a lot of time getting to know others and enjoying their company, building bonds and establishing trust and respect, however, when it comes to doing the same thing for ourselves, we shy all the way away from doing so!
I know, you’re thinking, how I can be disconnected from myself; I literally am myself and am in this body, with these thoughts and these feelings!
Yes, all true, however, let me know if any of these things resonate with you …
◊ Sitting in a café / movie theatre/ bar/ you name it- all alone and feeling lonely AF and hyper aware of other people having the best time. Feeling your heart beat staccato in a hollow rhythm because you want what they have. You want to also not be alone. You feel weird and awkward being alone.
◊ You argue with yourself a lot and avoid certain thoughts when they pop up because you just don’t feel like dealing with them or they hurt too much.
◊ You feel like a failure too much, you rarely look in the mirror and LOVE what is looking back at you.
◊ You’re fixated on working on ONE area of your life because to you it is failing and since it is, so are you.
If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of those ( no matter how salty) then the truth of it is that there is at least a part of you that is disconnected from the other parts of you and to be honest, many of us were not raised to cultivate a strong mental relationship with ourselves to begin with.
We rarely check in with ourselves to see how we truly feel about something or what we truly want, instead, we allow someone else (our authority figures/ haters/ lovers/celebrities) to make those decisions for us, so that we do what is expected and keep the peace.
And the more we do that, the more we start to separate from who we are- hence all those movies about ‘Finding Yourself!” – and the less we trust ourselves, the less we enjoy our own company, the less we believe in ourselves, because we are slowly eroding the bond we have with ‘me, myself and I’.
So to change your perspective, you have to be willing to repair that bond.
I like to think of it, as reconnecting with an old friend and making time in my hectic AF day to spend time with that being- myself!
So we meditate, we check in with ourselves, we affirm our loves, passions, and fun times, we work on projects, we talk, we laugh and we allow ourselves to fall back in love, trust and respect with each other. I become my best ‘BFF’ friend a little more every day.
And all of this goes a long way to me understanding what is triggering my limiting beliefs and certain mental blocks and changing my perspective on what is actually happening in those moments.
How you feel about a situation/experience/thing and what you believe based on those are what helps to make your decisions.
That is why limiting beliefs can have the power to stall and even destroy our success, if we simply buy into them, instead of challenging them and listening to what they are really saying about the situation.
So let’s start changing some mindsets!
First identify your trigger moment- what was the thing that made you think of your limiting belief or insecurity?
Check in with yourself and discover when you tend to give up, get overwhelmed or believe that your success is not/ no longer possible.
When you identify that moment and thing, what do you choose to make it mean? Do you make it a positive or negative thing?
*Hint* It’s neither. It’s just a thing and it has no meaning until you give it such…so don’t give it a meaning.
Secondly, check in on how you usually respond to the trigger moment in most recent situations.
(Make a list of all the trigger moments and all the things that have been making you pause on working as enthusiastically as you would towards your desired goal. Be honest and specific)
Thirdly, when you observe your response to the trigger moments and limiting beliefs, is this, what usually leads self-sabotaging behavior?
Do you feel unmotivated or incensed enough to want to give up?
Fourthly, make a firm decision here and now that you will start practicing responding in a more positive way when the opportunity next presents itself.
So let me give you an example of how this may play out:
My goal: I want to start a successful online business.
Context: I have launched my first product and there are no sales yet. I looked at my Business account and there are exactly zero sales made .It’s been a month and I barely hear crickets. I feel like a HUGE failure and I want to give up.
Trigger moment: I think to myself, no money equals HUGE failure and I leave the room sad, frustrated and in tears.
Process: I decided that because I’ve not made anything yet, it means that I NEVER will and that made me feel like a failure and useless.
I realize after I’ve cooled off that, I’ve added my self-worth and future success to this one perceived failure, when really I could go online and look at what I’m actually putting out and see if I would buy the product based on that.
I could take a break from this and re-charge my energy so that I’m putting the best energy and intuitive actions into my business.
I’ve decided that I will stop attributing myself worth and overall success in life and business to something that I consider a failure and instead discover what was further needed so I can try again.
I decide that my success is inevitable and I’m going to allow myself to attract it and work smarter instead of more desperately.
Trigger moments happen often when we feel as if something has thrown us off track from our success and if we allow them to continually ‘pause ‘our progress we will start to doubt ourselves more, stop taking intuitive actions and even feel as if we should surrender our power and dreams to someone else.
We will begin to focus more on the problem itself, thereby making it bigger and more significant than it really is, because we are now attributing meaning to this issue, when really we just need to take a moment, focus on something we deem to be going right and go with that, and allow the problem to resolve itself.
Trigger moments are just one of the things that can cause our limiting beliefs to transform into real mental blocks, which are even harder to dismantle when they are in their so deep in our minds causing setbacks and stress.
A belief is simply a thought that we allow to circulate in our minds so much that we affirm them as truth, which means that in all things we do have the power to make a decision on the path we want to take.
It means that we can start to re-train ourselves to see these trigger moments as what they are and take a moment to repurpose them as well.
Next, I’ll be breaking down the real triggering emotion that actually derails your momentum and makes you a perfect target for stress!