Start Dating Yourself

The idea of self-dates may seem strange especially if you’re in a relationship, after all wasn’t one of the overall points of having a partner, so we wouldn’t have to go and do things alone?

But that’s just the thing, why are we so determined to not spend time with ourselves?

Why does the idea of going out alone, bring up feelings of awkward loneliness and feelings of slacking off, when we could be spending time being more ‘productive’.

We know we are social creatures, but does that really explain the sheer panic and fear many of us feel at the prospect of being alone with our thoughts or visiting a place alone?

Mental strength trainer and international bestselling mental strength author, Amy Morin, breaks down this conundrum for us, in her Forbes article.

 “We’re social creatures and it’s important for us to have strong connections with other people. But, solitude may be just as important,” Says Morin, “Studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression.”

Spending time with you, whether meditating or solo fun activities not only boosts self-esteem, but also creativity and empathy.

This form of self care is not limited to simply meditating in a tub with wine and soft music.

No. You can take it a step further and really start enjoying your own company and coming up with ways to treat yourself and make you happy all on your own.

That means leaving the house and actually going on dates with just you.

“ Let’s do the stuff we love doing even if that means we’re doing it alone. Doing things solo makes us more interesting, independent, creative, capable, fulfilled, and self-reliant. And those qualities make us better partners and better friends,” says Online Coach, Sarah Von Bargen.

It is very natural to feel alone, or  to wish someone was with you, however, this time is to appreciate yourself and to treat yourself, so don’t scrimp on your routines.

You are a priority in your own life and you should get all dolled up and step out in style.

Afterall, you are the only person who knows what you love, what annoys you and stayed with yourself through celebrations and bad times!

“Think of all the times you were alone or felt alone. Think of all the times you felt like you were on top of the world. There is only one person in this world who has experienced every minute and second of your life with you”, says  Elite Daily Contributor Lena Oh, “You are the only person who was there, even when your close loved ones, family and friends couldn’t be by your side.

You are the only one with the power to make your dreams a reality and don’t you owe it to yourself to conquer that fear of being ‘alone’, when you have been the best person to yourself?

So do your make-up, put on your best clothes, choose an amazing date and then do the bold thing of going to it, with an open mind, intentions of being happy and go do it.

You made it to the end! Wooot!

Now come join me in the Ash Files, where we are talking, sharing and story-telling about this and other Ashlee Unscripted posts! Subscribe here.

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8 thoughts on “Start Dating Yourself

  1. Yes, loved this post! I’m really focusing on spending more time with myself and enjoying my own company. Self care is so important and I’m really benefiting from taking time out to look after myself.


  2. I am trying my best to take better care of myself. It is a challenge, with so much responsibilities to do. Anyway, I love your tips, and hopefully once this crisis is over I will go on a date – with myself. I am so looking forward to it!


  3. Wonderful article to encourage people to do something I’ve learned to enjoy over the last few years. It’s striking how at first it takes some courage to “go out there alone” – but then once you’re hiking, biking, dining, movie-watching or whatever else you do on your solo-date it’s such an empowering reward to feel so totally JUST YOU.
    On a little side note: those of us who have partners, should also appreciate the *luxury* of having to make an effort to be “on our own”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One should never underestimate the power of some alone time. HOWEVER, I am totally uncomfortable going places alone. 😦


  5. I remember listening to this advice when I was single. Getting to know who you are and what you like, and don’t like, is so important to having a healthy relationship with someone.


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