Self Dates and Solitude

I have always admired those girls who could go to the movies, cafes and even shop by themselves without feeling awkward or lonely, because to me that seemed like such a power move.

 As much as I’m an introvert, there are things that I simply do not want to do by myself, for the very simple reasons that I fear it would only serve to emphasize my loneliness.

After all, how many times have you seen anyone on a self-date, who looked comfortable and like they were having fun, minus being attached to their phone or having that painful ‘ please keep me company’ expectant expression on their face?

Ok, so maybe that’s just me projecting my own feelings on the few times I’ve been out alone, but to be fair, those times were because I was meeting someone and felt anxious, knowing I’d be better when they finally appeared or I left.

However, recently, something changed within me.

The more I learn about mindset health and connecting to myself,  the more I’ve started to allow myself to enjoy solitude and have started welcoming my thoughts, rather than engaging in an epic and exhausting battle of fighting them.

One of the biggest things I realized was that I was equating going out by myself with feelings of being sad, lonely, isolated and rejected,  because I was referencing the times I felt like that, which was of course when I was out, waiting for someone who I was late!

As I slowly started to carve me-time into my day, and becoming committed to the practices, I began to feel more at peace with myself and my thoughts, creative and powerful.

 I felt more comfortable and confident in staying in my own company and enjoying my little bubble, unplugged from everyone else.

I started appreciating the process of waking up; smiling that it was just time for myself and my own thoughts, doing an activity that I enjoyed.

The hardest thing for me at the beginning was disconnecting and finding time to just have me-time, which is not surprising as every new process takes time to feel out.

 It started slowly, with gym dates, then with me going to the beach alone and letting the water soak my feet and feeling the crunch of sand under my toes as I walked the length of the beach.

Then it progressed to rambling around the island in my car, taking in new sites, stopping to eat where I wanted and knowing I didn’t have to impress anyone and if I wanted to go home I could.

My next goal is to get dressed up and go to the movies, dinner and maybe even to a bar.

These actions are important to me, because it’s me deliberately and intentionally choosing to spend time with myself and treat myself to the things I enjoy.

To me, that alone is so powerful, because I’ve taken my relationship with myself public, instead of choosing the easier road of staying home (- not to say that at times I do choose to stay home and enjoy me time there, it’s all about options and having fun) and I’m really, truly enjoying letting my power time flag fly high!


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How to Trust Your Intuition

Have you ever had a thought or a feeling that came to from seemingly ‘nowhere’ followed by an urge to go do the thing, and you can feel your body instinctively react to go do the thing?

That’s what is called an ‘ intuitive nudge’, and all of the time, if you choose to not follow the nudge, life becomes just a tad more complicated and your mind, reproaches you by replaying that thought or feeling you got which you ignored.

The thing is, it’s not easy to trust these feelings or thoughts in your body, because simply put, we are not taught how to, or even that they have real value.

In today’s world, if you’re making decisions based on how you feel or on your ‘gut’ you run the risk of being laughed at.

Yet, intuition is much stronger, more accurate and much more direct that what we are taught to use today, which is ‘rational logic’.

We have all heard people use the term ‘intuition’ in an attempt to express how they knew something before hand, or to describe this sense of unproven confidence they have in a situation and it’s really no surprise that women- the more empathetic of the two sexes are more likely to not only feel the pull, but also answer the call of the nudge.

“We all have this groovy inner guidance system, but many of us disconnect from it. If we want to trust our intuition, we must release all disbelief and heighten our awareness of our inner voice,” #1 New York Times Bestselling, Gabrielle Bernstein, tells Poosh.

“Our intuition is a kind, loving inner voice that guides us toward positive actions and peaceful outcomes,” she continues.

Sometimes intuitive guidance comes to us in the form of a powerful feeling of inspiration or even a tingly sensation or even as a strong sense of knowing in your gut.

This guidance can manifest when we’re dealing with people, circumstances and even in our decisions making processes, though, we’re not always able to tune into what it has to say.

Let’s change that.

Wouldn’t it be great to recognize and trust those times when your intuition is trying to guide you to an easier and more beneficial direction in life?

To do that, we have to address one of the most major blocks to receiving the best of our intuition, fear.

Fear can manifest in our lives in a variety of forms, and sometimes it’s a good thing, but other times, it’s what we use to doubt ourselves, over-thinking and second-guessing what we know, which leads to us cutting off our communication with our inner guide.

To change the tide, Berstein has a strategy to help you connect with your inner guide and open yourself more to what you’re being called to do.

“You can begin this practice with two minutes of stillness each morning. Sit comfortably in silence and connect to your breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. When two minutes is up, take note of whatever your intuition tells you and write it in a notebook. Trust your first instinct.

 For one week, document the intuition that comes through after your two minutes of stillness. At the end of the week, reread what you’ve documented. It’s likely that you’ll see patterns and guidance that may not have come through without this stillness practice,” says Berstein.

Another reason we tend not to trust our inner guide is because the message we are receiving seem to not make sense in the context of our present.

For instance, if you get the slightest inkling to take a different route from the one you always use and have never have issues with, logic and familiarity will encourage you to disregard that first nudge and go as you always have.

So start small, because it will take some time to retrain yourself to listen to that feeling, especially when it seems nonsensical and illogical.

To begin, when you feel that inner nudge, that sudden clarity, take the chance to listen to it, and let it guide you.

In his book, Intuition: Knowing Beyond LogicOsho summed it up perfectly when he said: “The unknowable is the beauty, the meaning, the aspiration, the goal. Because of the unknowable, life means something. When everything is known, then everything is flat. You will be fed up, bored.”

This process allows you to open up the communication channels of your inner guide and also creates the bond between you and self-trust.

When you start listening and acting in alignment with your intuition, life begins to make more sense, becomes less stressed and you’ll find yourself happier and more confident in your own skin.


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You Need to Practice Creative Visualisation Now

If it was possible to do less, attract success and feel amazing while you do it, would you be interested or would you scoff at the idea as woo-woo propaganda?

This was the crisis I faced recently, upon stumbling upon a meditative technique called Creative Visualisation, which is the art of using mental imagery and affirmation to produce positive changes in your life.

The name itself was what intrigued me and as I dived deeper into my research, I discovered that this kind of meditation came highly recommended, having been successfully used in the fields of health, business, sports, the creative arts and said to have a positive impact in just about every area of life.

Why was this meditative process so highly recommended and how was it any different from normal visualization?

This was the question I hoped to answer and after much research, I realized that the process for Creative Visualization is in fact a simple form of meditation that encourages good feelings.

And as all the experts will tell you, when you feel great inside our bodies and mind, we become a magnet for what we want, because our energy attracts its likeness.

As thought will always precede creation, everything first starts in our mind and is balanced between our subconscious and our conscious minds.

To understand the context under which the upcoming techniques will help you, let’s briefly explore the subconscious mind first.

Your subconscious can be seen as a programmable ‘hard drive’ much like your Fire Stick, mobile or phone, with the downloaded apps being stimulus-response behaviours. The subconscious remembers everything, is very literal and incapable of differentiating between what is real and imagined.

“The subconscious […] processes only in the present tense. It will look for and guide you to whatever you tell it. So you must be absolutely clear and specific in directing your subconscious to help you accomplish your goals. The subconscious mind uses imagination and feeling to communicate; you can practice in your mind without ever doing the actions,” explains Abigail Brenner M.D.

On the other hand, our conscious mind, the one we are aware of daily is a logical thinking entity that uses words to communicate.

 It processes in all three states of time, past, present and future and directly perceives the outside world, taking in what it ‘sees’ and reacting to is as such.

“The beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are programmed may override what our conscious mind desires. So to attain our conscious goals the idea is to access the subconscious in order to go beyond our limitations,” explains Brenner.

Creative visualization is one of the tools in which we can learn to access our subconscious mind, control our thoughts and manifest them into our conscious reality. 

Changing what you believe, creates a change in your response to life and to what you believe you can achieve.

Let’s look at the steps towards using Creative visualization and becoming a happy magnet for your success!


The first step is to relax your body and empty your mind.

Tania Kotsos, contributor for Mind Your Reality, recommends finding a comfortable seat, sitting upright and breathing deeply and steadily.

As you slowly count from 25 to 1, all the while relaxing your muscle groups from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet and allow your mind to also relax.

“Empty your mind by focusing on your breathing. Do not become frustrated if thoughts race through your head. Relaxation techniques are a skill that you can learn. All you need do is practice what you have learnt here about how to relax”, Kostos instructs.


The second step through this meditation is to accept and believe in your creative power to change the world around you.

As noted by Gabrielle Bernstein is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of 7 self-help books, “Accept that you have the power to create the world you want to see. You may not yet fully believe this. That’s OK. I just ask that you become willing to believe it”.

Kostos, adds, “Although believing you already have something when it is not present in your physical reality may appear difficult at first, it will help to remember that everything you are already experiencing in the physical realm has its origin in your thoughts and beliefs. What you believe you receive”.


The third step is reframing your beliefs into a positive affirmation.

This step is very important as you will be coming back to your positive affirmations time and again to help with all the other steps to follow.

Much like with the last step, what you are trying to manifest may seem out of reach to you presently and it is easy to doubt that you can have it.

Through thoughtful positive affirmations, you can redirect that energy from a negative place to something that makes you feel powerful and joyous.

Berstein gives us an example, “If you want to be more abundant but you’re currently in debt, don’t choose the affirmation, “I’ll make a million dollars this year.” It won’t feel good and will just reinforce negative feelings. Try something that feels more attainable and good, such as: “I’m open to creative ways to earn more money.”


The fourth step in the process is imagining the intended outcome, through visualization.

Finally we are at the part where your imagination is allowed to come into play and you train your mind to visually create the outcome you want to manifest.

“In your relaxed state of mind and body, imagine your intended outcome in the present moment. See yourself experiencing that which you choose. Bring your images to life by imagining them as a movie rather than static pictures. Let go and have fun with the process!” says Kotsos.

“Whatever you want to create, picture it in great detail. While you visualize, picture everything going beautifully. It’s safe to unleash your imagination in this way and feel really good about what you’re visualizing. And if a negative thought pops up, just return to your affirmation,” encourages Berstein.


The fifth step is allowing your visualization to become a feeling.

We remember things more, when feelings and emotions are attributed to them and creative visualization is all about imagery, words and great feelings.

Berstein instructs that that letting your visualization take you over emotionally, will allow you to feel a genuine connection to what you are seeing in your mind.

“For example, if you want to be more abundant, then truly allow yourself to feel that financial freedom and the relief of security,” she suggests.

Kostos, clarifies, “In other words, to feel how it would feel to experience your intended outcome in the present moment – now – not sometime in the future. Of all the feelings you can experience, unconditional love, gratitude and peace are the three that will turbo charge the manifestation of your intentions.”


The final and very important step to this meditative process is possibly one of the hardest to achieve, because it is very hard to detach yourself and not obsess over the outcome you want to see so badly.

Yet, that is exactly what you have to do.

Kostos, explains why this last step is so needed, “Attachment in any sense is disempowering and holds you prisoner to circumstances and misconceived external forces,

“ Detachment itself becomes easy when your creative visualization sessions are based in the kind of faith that is the “evidence of things not seen”, allowing you to say with calmness and peace of mind, “this or something better”.

Do this meditative process for 5 to 20 minutes a day and afterwards, allow yourself to return to a normal waking state and opening your eyes slowly.

Things to remember: This technique is to get you to focus your visualization on the outcome, rather than the process, in other words, leave the ‘how’ of it all, to the Universe and allow that to work it out in a way that truly best serves you in its time.

However, that does not mean that you will not be called upon to take inspired action, afterall physical action is required to successfully brig your mental intentions to manifestation.

The key here is to remain calm and be deliberate in the action you take.

As noted by Kostos, when it comes to taking inspired action, “ This is not to sit and wait for the proverbial penny to drop and nor is it to run around in a frenzied state doing everything you can possibly think of doing in the hope that something works. It is about being calm and deliberate in the action you take, knowing that it is taking you toward your intended outcome. It is about listening to your intuition and following your natural instinct”.

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The Surprising Hormone Stopping You From Losing Weight

 We know that metabolism slows down as you age, but we also know that it is very heavily influenced by our hormones, meaning if our hormones are out of whack, then it results in  many things in the body going awry.

These include not being able to lose fat, because instead of burning it, the body stores it; feeling fatigued and sluggish and even an inability to brighten up your mood.

Yeah, we rely on our metabolism for A LOT, so when things are off-set it, it’s not pretty for us.

If you’re on the path to losing weight or just trying to keep your body in tip top condition, then you need to understand how hormonal imbalances impact your body.

“Almost anyone who struggles with weight also battles a hormone imbalance. It amazes me how easy weight loss becomes once hormones are back in their sweet spot. Hormones control how efficiently a calorie makes you fat.

Most diets don’t work for women, because they fail to address the hormonal root causes that are the most common reasons for weight loss resistance, like excess cortisol, insulin and/or leptin blockage, estrogen dominance, a sluggish thyroid, low testosterone, and problems with the HPA (hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal) control system,” Dr Sara Gottfried, New York Times bestselling author of The Hormone Reset Diet and Younger tells GOOP.

When asked what the typical hormonal imbalance that makes losing weight hard, Gottfried, singled out cortisol.

“Ninety percent of the time, I find that the main hormone that’s out of whack is cortisol (which ends up disrupting other hormones, too),” she says.

“Your body makes cortisol in response to stress, but most of us run around stressed too much of the time, and our cortisol is off as a result. High or dysregulated cortisol levels wreak havoc over time, depleting your happy brain chemicals like serotonin, robbing your sleep, and making you store fat—especially in your belly. High cortisol is likewise linked to depression, food addiction, and sugar cravings.”

Cortisol, also known as the ‘stress hormone’ is interestingly one of the major drivers of metabolism.

 “Its main function is to prepare the body in times of stress. One way it does this is by blocking the absorption of glucose in order to provide an easy energy source if you need to fight, run, or think quickly,” says says Rocio Salas-Whalen, M.D., an endocrinologist in New York City.

However, the trouble starts when stress becomes chronic and your cortisol levels remain elevated, which results in driving your blood sugar levels up, as well as slowing down your metabolism. This then results in weight gain, feeling fatigued but experiencing trouble sleeping.

So what causes the cortisol imbalances?

According to Gottfried it is usually due to a dysregulated HPA axis, which is the boss of all your hormones.

“When the HPA is up-regulated, you churn out too much cortisol, like I did. Result? Muffin top, feeling like you’re constantly racing from task to task, feeling wired but tired, quickness to anger and irritability, rapid weight gain,” Gottfried notes.

“Over time, the HPA can get burned out and become down-regulated. Then you feel a lack of stamina, have a tendency to hold a negative point of view, catch colds frequently, and you may experience thyroid problems that improve briefly before you crash again,” she continues.

Sounds familiar?

Yeah.

To reset your HPA, and your cortisol, a good place to start is being aware of your stressors and balancing your cortisol. Gottfried outlines a list to help and it is as follows:

Here is my (simplified) protocol for becoming more objective about your stressors and balancing cortisol in women (all suggestions that are proven in randomized trials, the best evidence we have):

  • Talk through what’s stressing you with a girlfriend.
  • Practice some form of “witness” consciousness like meditation or yoga.
  • Add B vitamins and omega-3s if you’re deficient.
  • Take phosphatidyl serine until you perceive less stress and your HPA is no longer hyper-vigilant.
  • Get a massage once or twice per month.
  • Limit alcohol and coffee, or ideally switch to green tea, which contains L-theanine, an amino acid that reduces stress without sedation.
  • Eat extra dark chocolate (80 percent cacao or higher).

If your symptoms don’t resolve, add plant medicine. Ashwagandha is my favorite adaptogen that helps to reset cortisol, so it’s not too high nor too low during the day. If it doesn’t work for you, try rhodiola.

The best way to get your hormones back on track is to take real care of yourself and put your health first.  This means improving your diet, doing adaptive exercises such as yoga, dance or Pilates, incorporating weight training and walking. Not only will this a this make you feel loads better, but losing weight will be much easier.


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You Are NOT the Same Sexual Being Your Ex Knew

Hi guys,

I am actually really excited to bring to you this audio post today, because the subject is so real to me and it is something that I think we need to be open and honest about.

In this post I riff on one of the biggest sexual hurdles women and men have to overcome not only to move on to a new relationship but also to heal and come to terms with your own sexual desires.

Within this post :

>>  I talk about growing and evolving as a person and as a being with sexual wants and desires, a little bit about my own experience and how I got over feeling as if I was a prude.

>> The tips in this post allowed me to be super honest about what I want ( to my partner and myself) when it came to sex and it was such a powerful shift.

>> We talk why BDSM and Vanilla sex both require trust, respect of your boundaries and an open door to explore your desires safely.

You are allowed to feel differently with another person and even want to try something that may have been of the table before, simply because with this new person, you feel safe, you want to experiment and you are ready to.

There is no rush when it comes to sex, in fact it is one of the many activities we will do as adult humans that is natural and goes to your individual pacing, tastes and enjoyment levels. The act is one that connects you to your partner, because of how intimate it is, how you share energies and how you also share health truths.

Click to listen to this audio now and if it feels right, like the post and leave a comment.


You Are NOT The Same Sexual Being Your Ex Knew

5 Beauty Related Mood Boosters

It’s no secret that life can be hectic, stressful and frustrating, however, just as there are foods to boost your mood and increase your confidence, there are some self-care practices that goes a very long to increase your good mood and give you the shot of confidence you will need as you go through your day.

Looking good, makes you feel good and all you’ll need throughout the day is a mirror.


Wish of the Week: Belle Radici Wine

Belle Radici

Price:  less than $50

Why We’re Curious:

Anyone who has met me for more than 5 minutes know that I love wine and I love wrestling, so of course, I’m beyond curious about the Belle Radici wine, founded by WWE’s former wrestlers, turn mega entrepreneurs, The Bella Twins,  Nikki and Brie Bella ( real names, Stephanie Nicole Garcia and Brianna Danielson).

I also am an avid reality tv show watcher, should something pique my curiosity and Total Divas and Total Bellas are very entertaining and offered me a much coveted chance to slay my ever growing curiosity about wrestler’s life and travelling…but now back to the wine.

I remember when the Bella’s made the inspired choice to try their hand at wine making, since like me, they loved the fermented grape goodness and thanks to television and the invasion of cameras, I felt as if I got to see the product come to fruition ( pun totally intended).

Belle Radici according to their website is Italian for ‘beautiful roots’ and is a nice way of describing the diverse team behind the making of this wine.

The reviews on their facebook page have been pretty phenomenal, which does nothing to curb by envy and want!

Exhibit A : “Maggie Douglas recommends Belle Radici. I was “graciously” blessed with just a taste of this heavenly nectar, and was VERY impressed! The bouquet, the fullness of flavor with a sweet hint of fruitiness….. truly one of the finest, most delicious wines I’ve ever had!”

So far they have three choices, the Belle Radici Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Belle Radici Red Napa Valley and the Belle Radici Chardonnay Reserve Napa Valley

I’m not huge on red wine, but I would love to try all three of these. Who is with me? Who has tried, let me know!

Shop Now

 

 

My Law of Harmony

Law of Attraction, Law of Vacuums and the Backwards Law…

These are just three of the ‘life laws’ that I’ve come across in the last two years on my journey to understanding how to attract abundance and as I came across each Law, I understood the merit behind it’s ethos, however, the last one I came across stuck in my craw and nothing I did would root it out.

The Backwards Law, so coined by Alan Watts in his 1951 book The Wisdom of Insecurity, talks about how the more you try for one outcome, you’ll get the opposite. 

The example he gives in the book is about the dichotomy of trying to float and sinking, and then trying to actively sink, but the water pushes you back up and makes you float.

“When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float. When you hold your breath, you lose it”.

And while these things are true, and bring to mind such physics theories as Archimedes’ Principle and Newton’s Three Laws of Motion,  the more I thought about these laws and tried to reconcile their similar, yet largely differing teachings, it occurred to me that the only way they all work, is through Harmony.

So it’s true that the more you put good vibes into the world, the more good you’ll get back (Law of Attraction) and it’s true that the more you over think on something, the more of the opposite you’ll get (Backwards law) and it’s also true that when you make space, that space will also be filled by something else (Vacuum’s Law).

So how do all of these truths make it into your world?

How do they bring you the abundance and high vibe energy that all the energy workers promise you can have when you ascribe to the Laws?

You realize that it’s all about harmony.

To dive into or float atop water, you have to first understand the water, and understand how to work with it – not against it- to achieve your goals.

One method will require force, another will require relaxation.

To bring more good vibes, means to be in harmony with your own mind and world first.

It means to start changing your mindset about yourself, about joy and fun and letting yourself live freely.

And to get the reaction you want, it means to detach yourself from the outcome and to not over think anymore.

 It means understanding that the over thinking and stressing, and obsessing sends the wrong signals and corrupts your high energy, so start detaching from the outcomes of your goals.

Think about it, when you are in harmony with something, you don’t doubt it, you don’t need to worry or obsess, in fact, you’re confident about it and you’re relaxed.

So think about it.

My law of Harmony and try it.

Daily let yourself choose to be in a relaxed, high vibes and happy space.

 You set the tone, and regardless of whether it’s good or bad, you then harmonise with it, resulting in what you put in.


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7 Health Practices to Keep After the Covid-19 Lockdown

If anyone had told me there would be a global pandemic that would lock-down the entire world and confine humans to their homes, stopping all manufacturing and travelling, I would have laughed and laughed and laughed.

Prior to 2020, none of that seemed even remotely possible!

And yet, here we are.

Across the globe we have all faced the exact same challenges, with the pandemic known as the Corona Virus (Covid-19).

Thanks to this virus and the way it so quickly infected people and some animals, with its varying aggressive strains, we as the human race had to take a hard look at our health practices and drastically upgrade them.

As I write this, many countries around the world are beginning to reopen up their businesses and people are coming out of quarantine, and interacting with each other in person again, after months of online socializing , but even as we are aware there must now be a ‘new normal’ as there is yet no marketable vaccine for this highly contagious virus, I know there are many practices that will continue to be enforced as good health practices, even after the epic time of Covid-19.

For me, here are the top personal practices that I’m going to be practicing forever!

(Click through the numbers below to read all of 7!)

The Secret Truth to Being Successful

It has been ingrained in me from a very young age that success in any form, comes from hard work.

This belief is what got me through my Common Entrance Examination when I was ten, got me to my high grades at the CXC level when I was fifteen and what saw me burn right out in college, only to fight for supremacy in University.

It is a concept that has also seen me through many days at my various jobs and even more so as a budding entrepreneur.

However, it is also a concept that I realized I grossly misinterpreted and drove too far, too deeply.

The concept of hard work suggests to me sweat, blood, tears and an unrelenting drive to achieve my goal.

 The flip side of that being, there is little room for fun, happiness, mistakes or patience, things I realized I needed for a healthy life.

It is a concept that I have grappled with for years because if I was not successful in something, then it meant I needed to work even harder, and had to make even more sacrifices, which always felt wrong but necessary.

Those sacrifices often times came in the form of spending time with loved ones, taking breaks, taking good care of my health and body and becoming even more of a workaholic whom had nothing to show for it.

It meant I had to do more, dig in my heels further, cut out all distractions and drive myself ever onward towards success.

Success meant hard work.

It’s only later in my life, late twenties really that I began to understand that hard work did not actually mean eye-strain, sleepless nights, fighting to work with people who did not want to work for me or sacrificing time with love ones .

 It did not mean self-punishment or being super unhealthy.

 In fact it turns out that hardwork meant having a new school of thought, where I needed to do less, which allowed me to have even more.

As an entrepreneur, I listened to many webinars on strategy, on building up my business and all the things that I absolutely had to have in place or guaranteed failure of my business, and I am here to say that all of that was absolutely wrong.

In life it’s not about having the right strategy, it’s not about working yourself to death and it is definitely not about robbing yourself of happiness. 

What it is about is fueling your high energy meter.

Psychologist, mindset coaches, spiritual healers and intuitive entrepreneurs all know the truth behind living your best life and being successful.

In short, they all know one secret truth:

If you focus on problems, you will reap even more problems, but if you focus on possibilities, then you will reap more opportunities.

If that’s true, then does doing less actually equal being more successful?

Now I’m not going to lie, when I first heard of this new school of thought, I scoffed and kept scoffing, but then I decided to just try it, as it wasn’t as if my spinning hamster impersonation was showing any results anyway.

So the first thing I did was to research this idea and that’s when Gabby Berstein popped up in my must watch list, around the time she was promoting her book, Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

While I have yet to read this book, I will admit that I was drawn in my Berstein’s interviews and articles regarding the idea of doing less busy work and indulging in intentional and intuitive work.

One such interview with Annie Tomlin caught my attention, in which Berstein was asked what a Super Attractor was, and she explained it was ‘someone whose primary focus is on feeling good’.

I was further intrigued, when Berstein, further explained, “When people make feeling good a priority, then they become a magnet for what they want.”

Turns out we are all already Super Attractors it’s just that we have forgotten and have fallen so deeply into fear, judgement and attack that the power is blocked from us.   

She notes, however, that to regain that power, all one has to do is recognize the ways your thoughts and belief systems work and how they’re making you feel, how they have disconnected you from attracting what you really want.

Seems easy enough but is it really?

I remember the first time I talked about my idea to do less and attract more how my mind rebelled against the idea because of my earlier training, but as I did more inner healing, I came to realize that I was afraid of actually being happy and feeling good, because in my mind those good feelings were fleeting, rather than long lasting.

And who could blame me, when societal landscape we live in today, it is almost expected to be addicted to fear, worry, attack and judgment.

“It’s so much easier to let your mind spin. It’s easier to worry, “What if this happens?” rather than having a default state of thinking everything is going to be fine. Fear is the default, because it’s what we’ve grown to rely on and believe. We build up that fear as a habit, but also as a false way of playing safe,” Berstein notes.

“I think that that the belief systems that we’ve picked up throughout our lives have programmed us to believe that we’re not good enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not worthy. These beliefs are from life experiences that traumatize and trigger us.

We take those thoughts and we rethink them. Those thoughts become belief systems, and those belief systems build up the world that we see. So at times, it seems safer to be in worry and fear, because that’s how we protect ourselves, but it’s obviously not protecting us at all,” she continues.

Sound familiar?

It did for me and it got me to thinking, what if I could change the way I think about the world and how to achieve what I wanted?

 What if I could just focus on enjoying what I was doing and consciously stop myself from indulging in worry?

After all, when you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing, it’s not work, it’s not stress, its fun and something you WANT to do!

It’s the same hardwork, but instead of feeling drained and stressed out because you’re achievement based, you get to feel elevated, happy and accomplished because you are now you centered.

And to me that’s a much better trade off.


You made it to the end! Wooot!

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