The Secret Truth to Being Successful

It has been ingrained in me from a very young age that success in any form, comes from hard work.

This belief is what got me through my Common Entrance Examination when I was ten, got me to my high grades at the CXC level when I was fifteen and what saw me burn right out in college, only to fight for supremacy in University.

It is a concept that has also seen me through many days at my various jobs and even more so as a budding entrepreneur.

However, it is also a concept that I realized I grossly misinterpreted and drove too far, too deeply.

The concept of hard work suggests to me sweat, blood, tears and an unrelenting drive to achieve my goal.

 The flip side of that being, there is little room for fun, happiness, mistakes or patience, things I realized I needed for a healthy life.

It is a concept that I have grappled with for years because if I was not successful in something, then it meant I needed to work even harder, and had to make even more sacrifices, which always felt wrong but necessary.

Those sacrifices often times came in the form of spending time with loved ones, taking breaks, taking good care of my health and body and becoming even more of a workaholic whom had nothing to show for it.

It meant I had to do more, dig in my heels further, cut out all distractions and drive myself ever onward towards success.

Success meant hard work.

It’s only later in my life, late twenties really that I began to understand that hard work did not actually mean eye-strain, sleepless nights, fighting to work with people who did not want to work for me or sacrificing time with love ones .

 It did not mean self-punishment or being super unhealthy.

 In fact it turns out that hardwork meant having a new school of thought, where I needed to do less, which allowed me to have even more.

As an entrepreneur, I listened to many webinars on strategy, on building up my business and all the things that I absolutely had to have in place or guaranteed failure of my business, and I am here to say that all of that was absolutely wrong.

In life it’s not about having the right strategy, it’s not about working yourself to death and it is definitely not about robbing yourself of happiness. 

What it is about is fueling your high energy meter.

Psychologist, mindset coaches, spiritual healers and intuitive entrepreneurs all know the truth behind living your best life and being successful.

In short, they all know one secret truth:

If you focus on problems, you will reap even more problems, but if you focus on possibilities, then you will reap more opportunities.

If that’s true, then does doing less actually equal being more successful?

Now I’m not going to lie, when I first heard of this new school of thought, I scoffed and kept scoffing, but then I decided to just try it, as it wasn’t as if my spinning hamster impersonation was showing any results anyway.

So the first thing I did was to research this idea and that’s when Gabby Berstein popped up in my must watch list, around the time she was promoting her book, Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

While I have yet to read this book, I will admit that I was drawn in my Berstein’s interviews and articles regarding the idea of doing less busy work and indulging in intentional and intuitive work.

One such interview with Annie Tomlin caught my attention, in which Berstein was asked what a Super Attractor was, and she explained it was ‘someone whose primary focus is on feeling good’.

I was further intrigued, when Berstein, further explained, “When people make feeling good a priority, then they become a magnet for what they want.”

Turns out we are all already Super Attractors it’s just that we have forgotten and have fallen so deeply into fear, judgement and attack that the power is blocked from us.   

She notes, however, that to regain that power, all one has to do is recognize the ways your thoughts and belief systems work and how they’re making you feel, how they have disconnected you from attracting what you really want.

Seems easy enough but is it really?

I remember the first time I talked about my idea to do less and attract more how my mind rebelled against the idea because of my earlier training, but as I did more inner healing, I came to realize that I was afraid of actually being happy and feeling good, because in my mind those good feelings were fleeting, rather than long lasting.

And who could blame me, when societal landscape we live in today, it is almost expected to be addicted to fear, worry, attack and judgment.

“It’s so much easier to let your mind spin. It’s easier to worry, “What if this happens?” rather than having a default state of thinking everything is going to be fine. Fear is the default, because it’s what we’ve grown to rely on and believe. We build up that fear as a habit, but also as a false way of playing safe,” Berstein notes.

“I think that that the belief systems that we’ve picked up throughout our lives have programmed us to believe that we’re not good enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not worthy. These beliefs are from life experiences that traumatize and trigger us.

We take those thoughts and we rethink them. Those thoughts become belief systems, and those belief systems build up the world that we see. So at times, it seems safer to be in worry and fear, because that’s how we protect ourselves, but it’s obviously not protecting us at all,” she continues.

Sound familiar?

It did for me and it got me to thinking, what if I could change the way I think about the world and how to achieve what I wanted?

 What if I could just focus on enjoying what I was doing and consciously stop myself from indulging in worry?

After all, when you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing, it’s not work, it’s not stress, its fun and something you WANT to do!

It’s the same hardwork, but instead of feeling drained and stressed out because you’re achievement based, you get to feel elevated, happy and accomplished because you are now you centered.

And to me that’s a much better trade off.


You made it to the end! Wooot!

Now come join me in the Ash Files, where we are talking, sharing and story-telling about this and other Ashlee Unscripted posts! Subscribe here.


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Wish of the Week: Savage Lingerie

Savage X Cotton Jersey Bralette and  High Leg Bikini  ( Blue Cush Floral Print)

Price:  $25

Why We’re Curious:

Now I’m not usually one for any kind of floral print anything, but the moment I saw this bralette and the bikini bottom, from the Savage X Fenty collection, which for anyone living off the grid, is the lingerie line from Superstar and Mega Entrepreneur Rihanna.

I’m slowly getting into more lingerie, for myself as an added boost to my self-esteem and body love and I love, the colour blue so much!

The Lingerie line , Rihanna states is not for the male gaze, but for the female. And the website encourages women to live unapologetically as themselves, embracing all of them. I’m sold on the messaging and also on the cuts of these sets!

The reviews, have also been exactly the kind of thing to make me wanna wear them forever, and I’m not into bralettes, because they usually do not support the more chesty of women, but I’d try these!

Look at this review:

Super comfy!

I have to admit, I was skeptical about this coming in my VIP box because bralettes with no padding or minimal support don’t usually work out for me and my “girls” (I’m a 34DD). I was delightfully surprised, though, to find that this actually fit quite well! Now, I wouldn’t wear this out unless I was wearing a bulky sweatshirt because it doesn’t provide much support, but it’s perfect for lounging around! I can see myself putting this on when I’m relaxing all day or when I come home from work.

Loren

Size: M

Ok, gang, who has any Savage X Fenty lingerie and tell me how comfy is it really!

Shop Now

How I learnt to Let Life be Easy

Can I really have what I want in this life and can it be easy?

This was the question I struggled with for years upon years and most often than not, the answer I came up with was a resounding ‘no’.

I was taught hardwork, struggling and paying dues were all the benchmarks I had to go though repeatedly, before I could see any hint of success.

I was taught to wait for the inevitable shoe to drop, if anything good ever happened to me and without truly noticing it, this was the way I started to live my entire life.

I started to mistrust people who were kind, friendly and seemed generally good natured, because it reminded me of how I used to be and made me upset that I was no longer that person, but I couldn’t be that person, because all the lessons I’ve learnt ( and learnt well) yelled at me that I had to be guarded, I had to people please, I had to hide  who I was and look to other successful people to show me what my life should look like, what my thoughts should be and what I was allowed to achieve.

Now here’s the thing, you simply cannot have this mindset when you’re looking to do great things. I’m a naturally empathetic person and something ALWAYS felt wrong about this lifestyle, but damn if I could put my finger on what exactly it was.

So years go by and my intuition,- that whispering guardian angel that lives within me- that I would occasionally listen to every now and again, started pestering me and pestering me. It was sick of seeing me settle, sick of seeing me lose confidence and looking for a semblance of affection in the wrong people.

It was tired of me adding unnecessary burdens to my heart, tired of feeling my pain over and over again, tired of me basing my dwindling happiness on beliefs that were designed to drain it.

 So it finally rose up and got my attention.

And one day, after the weeks following a tremendous health scare that I was being treated for, my defenses were down. I was for the first time in a long time, also fed up of the pain, the betrayals and feeling as if I had let myself down.

That’s when I felt the intuitive nudge; taking it as a sign from God that I simply could no longer ignore, I allowed the message to flow into me. It told me there was no need for struggle, no need to burn myself out, no need to make everything complicated.

It explained no one was impressed by any of this.

And I wanted to believe in it so bad, but old habits die really freaking hard and I felt my mind erupt into a civil war. One side preaching that life was always supposed to be joyous and beautiful, the other saying that if it isn’t hard and complicated how will I learn to appreciate it?

Turns out I was not ready for my life to be easy, I wasn’t ready to release my teachings no matter how wrong they felt. I wasn’t ready for my life to be so aligned I could have everything and anything I wanted.

I was fighting tooth and nail for my limitations.

Mind you, I tested the theory a few times and it worked beautifully each time, but it was not enough for me to rehab the 3 decades strong fear addiction. And when that truly hit me- that not only was I choosing to feel crappy and complicate my life, but I was doing so because i was so driven by fear and the need to struggle, I made a real decision to get to the bottom of this need and reprogram my mind.

It was time for me to allow my life to flow. I had seen the evidence for myself. I bought my car cash, I rented  a condo for super cheap and it was in a great natural area, I was in fact never actually short on money, I always got what I wanted even if I didn’t buy it and the coup de grace, I was loved unconditionally by awesome humans!

So when it really sunk in that my life wanted to be easy, that it wanted to be successful and there was no need to stress and struggle, only to listen, align and do.

I finally started to allow things to flow. I finally moved things out of my way and reconnected with my inner being and that rare feeling of harmony and trust.

Life became so easy , I almost started to doubt its longevity again, because the last thing to leave me was the idea that good things could run out and I’d be left holding the proverbial bag. Funny how I never thought bad things could come to an end…

So I went to mindset rehab and I came out so much better for it. It’s a daily effort to reprogram my mind ( 30 years of habits do not change in a week) and each day I get stronger, more confident, more aligned and life is something I want to actively engage in again.

One of the resources I used when I was going through this period was the Level UP Journal Prompter. This book is filled with journal prompts, exercises and insights that I personally used to challenge myself into changing old teachings for new intuitive ones.

It’s easy to say I want better for myself, but as I learnt, it’s not so easy to walk the walk and release the bad habits to receive abundance. Hope and Faith are hard because of those same teachings, but it’s not impossible.

I know you’re ready to do more, to drop the effing struggle and let life actually flow in harmony as it needs to be. I know you’re over feeling as if you have to climb that oil slicked ladder, getting nowhere fast.

Use the book, go through the 9 chapters and allow yourself to expand, to grow and step into the awesome power that is your birthright. Add to your reading list now.



The Role Negativity Plays In Manifesting

Is wrong to tune into your ‘negative’ thoughts?

When manifesting, people become more aware of their thoughts, of the words they speak and the way they think about themselves, and so they become very, very paranoid about what many address as ‘ negative thoughts’.

Of course your words have power, of course your thoughts have power and of course the way you think about yourself is powerful.

You are a powerful, divine being!

You are a million to one in a lifetime chance of being yourself, being in this time and space and being blessed with the talents, world view and ability to share joy to others. You are a unique being.

And with great power, comes great responsibilities.

So yes, you do need to be aware of your thoughts, words and actions because they are all working in conjunction to send signals to the Divine Spirit that’s only job is to give you what you demand.

Think of the Universe/ Holy Spirit as a benevolent God that is totally whipped for you. They want to give you every single thing you want, but here’s the catch.

They have to wait for you to tell them what you want ( free will and all that) and they have no real understanding of good / bad, their language is one of energy and the frequency of which that energy vibrates when it reaches them.

So if you’re feeding your fear based state, you’ll get more problems, more reasons to stress to F out and more of all the things you say you don’t want.

Why?

Because that’s all you’re thinking about, all you’re talking about, all you believe and expect will follow you in your life.

So you look for evidence that you are NOT going to make it, and you obsess over it. When asked what you don’t want, you know those answers better than the back of your own hand.  And let’s be honest, we’ve all been in this state for years. All learnt to maneuver around life based on the things we fear ( that’s how we survived).

And that’s also the reason when we do get the things we want, they happen in such a way that it further feeds our fear addiction, our stress and they do not stay good for the length of time they should.

So to move from a fear based state to one of love, so that you actually start getting what you desire , want and are being called to have, you have to do the same thing you’ve been doing with fear, but with love.

So you focus on the things you want,  love the feeling of them, you understand that they will come ( same as with fear, when they do), you find evidence that your life is awesome and moving in a direction of awesome and you allow yourself to connect to you more.

To truly move, you need to address those same ‘negative emotions’, and to do that, you have to tune into them.

They are not here to hurt you, but to feed what you allow them to. They are here to test, to challenge and based on your reaction, your ego ( a vital part of your subconscious personality and the vessel through with the Universe/ Holy Spirit protects you) will continue to feed your thoughts to help you stay safe. This will manifest as either more fear or a feeling of confident intuition.

So no it’s not at all wrong to tune into your ‘negative’ thoughts or emotions. In fact what you should do is allow them to come into your mind, analyze them and listen to what they are actually telling you.

To help you with that, I’m gonna give you an exclusive exercise taken from the Level Up Journal Prompter, where you face your feelings and understand what they are actually telling you.


THE FEELINGS


Tune into you right now and just be. No distractions, no interruptions, just be one with your thoughts and breathe as you are guided to, slowly and deeply.

What is an emotion or thought you are resistant to feeling or thinking.

Identify it. Look at it. Is it ultimately true?

What is present underneath that emotion?

Look at that. Is it true?

Feel your way through your various emotions, noticing the stories you’ve been telling yourself.

Observing what you’ve been telling yourself about your life or goals that do not feel good.

Become aware that these are all concepts and ideas that can be shifted.

What idea, concept, or story would feel better than the one you have been telling to yourself?

Take a break for 10 minutes a day at least and focus on the good feelings and thoughts that are now allowed to surround your happy goals.

Journal on your findings. 

For more amazing exercises, homework, affirmations and journal prompts, on understanding your mindset better, add this book to your reading list right now.


‘Nurture By NAPS’, Launch Will Support Expecting & New Mothers Amidst Pandemic

June 17th was a big day for the Boston NAPS, as the reputable market leader in women’s prenatal and postpartum care, announced the launch of the much anticipated Nurture by NAPS, their new membership program for new and expecting mothers.

Nurture by NAPS, is a subscription membership program which offers accessibility, comfort and community to new mothers.

 The new virtual education program is evidence-based, with an instructional curriculum from women going through pregnancy all the way through the early stages of motherhood.

While I personally have no children of my very own, I am the very proud Aunt to a boy and girl fraternal twin and plaything to a precocious six year old girl, in short I know how stressful and sometimes isolated new mothers can feel as some of my friends have confided their fears, worries and lack of knowledge to me.

This is why when I  was contacted with the release that the Boston NAPS was  going digital, especially in this time of Covid-19- which has not made being pregnant any easier at all, I knew I had to share this to my platform.

As noted by the press release,  the Nurture by NAPS educational platform, seeks to ‘ provide women with scalable, on demand pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting-related courses, procured and instructed by their team of highly-qualified medical professionals’; which is basically means, it’s there to take the guess-work out of your new life adventure- being a new mother.

“We are thrilled to bring our vision to life with the launch of Nurture by NAPS, reflecting our unwavering commitment to provide a healthy combination of medical and real-life mom advice, paired with a non-judgmental, access-from-anywhere community,” remarked Jamie O’Day & Emily Silver, Co-Founders of Boston NAPS. 

Co-Founders Jamie O’Day (BSN, RN, IBCLC) and Emily Silver (MSN, NP-C, IBCLC)

If you are unaware of the Boston NAPS, let me give you some back-story about Co-Founders Jamie O’Day (BSN, RN, IBCLC) and Emily Silver (MSN, NP-C, IBCLC).

These two lovely ladies who are mothers to 5 children combined with over 10 years experience as former Labor and Delivery nurses, founded Boston NAPS in 2011 as a side hustle during their time working together as Registered Nurses in labor and delivery unit of a local hospital where follow up postpartum care was a numerous request by many of their patients.

From there, this experienced and qualified duo worked diligently to help women feel more informed, confident and supported as they navigated pregnancy and of course parenthood.

So did we expect anything less from those who truly understand what others are going through as new mothers and as nurses combined when the pandemic hit the world and globally made it one of the scariest times to be a new mother?

Of course not.

It makes sense to me that the company would not only realize that with social distancing mandates unfolding that they would need to help more mothers on an even larger scale and in response, Nurture by NAPS was created and launched in June of this year.

 It is a very timely launch as according to the March of Dimes, more than 5 million women in the U.S live in ‘maternity care desert’, lacking access to professional obstetric and postpartum care, which means that Nurture by NAPS will be bridging the healthcare accessibility gap for these women who have been underserved in these communities.

“By creating a scalable, on demand curriculum that directly serves expecting and new moms with evidence-based educational content, we’re ultimately transforming the definition of community with digital access, while empowering women to feel confident in their decision-making, and addressing the trials of physical isolation via essential pregnancy, postpartum care and mental health resources,” says Jamie O’Day & Emily Silver, Co-Founders of Boston NAPS. 

You can learn Infant CPR

The Nurture by NAPS platform includes: Video content produced by medical professionals; Live webinars chalk-filled with valuable content; Weekly live Q&A sessions addressing trending topics; “Ask a Nurse” feature that offers parents an opportunity to tap into the expertise of nurses within 24 hours, and more. The programs are categorized chronologically: Pregnancy, 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, and 9-12 months. Programming starts at $175. (Taken directly from press release)

( Photos taken from Reportable.com)

Level Up Your Life in 9 Steps

WTF Is reconnection and why does it matter?

Reconnection to self is when you allow yourself to admit and accept your truths, your vision and your power. It’s legit the process of befriending yourself on the mindset level,  so you know who you are, why you’re doing what you’re doing and finally step into your co-creator shoes confidently.

You can sense when you need to reconnect with yourself.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling: foggy brains, restless mind, unavailable for most things that would have brought you some semblance of real heart centered joy, not knowing what would make you feel happy.

It’s shoulder muscles so tense, they constantly touch your ears, it’s feeling your face scowl and frown, it’s headaches, tense jawlines and gritting of teeth.

It’s living in a state of ‘ life won’t be better’ that robs you of your joy.

Here’s the thing:

You know who you are. You know that you want to move far away from this state. You know you want to smile more; you want to laugh, to feel light in your body and safe in the unshakeable knowledge that everything will all turn out for the best in the end.

You want to feel pleasure and way, way less pain.

When you reconnect to yourself, you’ll start to see the world differently; it’s a slow progress that is nothing to shout about with how seamless and easy it will be.

You’ll only notice that you are unavailable to negative thoughts, toxic energy and have no interest in engaging with anything seeking to bring down your vibes.

For me, reconnection was the process of realizing I was living  not for the glory of having this life, but in the state of all things that were never-ending going wrong and using that as reasons to cut myself off from my sources of light.

I was not social, I always felt like I needed to be working ( even as I was frustratingly overwhelmed and stressed out by the business not making as it should), I used my lack of finances and the shame around it to stop myself from enjoying most things. The thought was I’ll enjoy all those things once I reached my goal.

I had lost sight of who I was as Ashlee Cox. I only saw many failures and gave into protecting myself from them at all costs.

Reconnecting with myself, challenged me to move away from that kind of famine, defeating mindset and allowed me to create a new self-fulfilling prophecy.

One that involved a happier, healthier and well rounded Ashlee.

An Ashlee that had allowed herself to grow, to pivot on prioritizing problems that only brought more of the same, to using that same energy to concentrate on her actual goals.

An Ashlee that recognized she didn’t have problems, just signs that she needed a new path to her goal and allowed herself to take them.

An Ashlee that leveled the F up!

And I did it with the help of the Level Up Journal Prompter.

The Level Up Journal Prompter is available right now.

This book with its nine chapters will take you on a journey of self discovery like no other resource can in this day.

Chapters: Reconnection, Limiting Beliefs and Triggers, Stories and Paradigms, Self love, Trust and Belief, Life skills, Goals and Validation, Energy and Manifesting, Support and Boundaries, You, Intuition and the Struggle, Next Level Self .

I researched and wrote these chapters, complete with journal prompts, and strategic homework when I had finally started to allow myself to be more, to receive more and I still use them to this day, when I want to level up again.

There is an energy of accelerated growth within these chapters and a feeling of intentional ease and crystal clear clarity.

You’re ready to grow, ready to move from a state where you attract problems, to one where you easily attract success.

Click here to elevate your life right now.


READY TO ELEVATE?

LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE BY LETTING YOUR REAL FEARS, DESIRES AND STRATEGIES POUR OUT OF YOU WITH THIS UNIQUE AND EFFECTIVE GUIDE


Is Prejudice a Lethal form of Bullying?


While I am not African American, I am a black Caribbean woman living in this wold and it would be naive of me to think that prejudices just because they are exploding out of one country, cannot affect all of the world. The Covid-19 pandemic should have shone light on that fact that anything that affects and impacts one of us, affects us all.

Another thing that pandemic showed us was that unlike us, viruses do not discriminate among ethnicity. If it attacks the human system, then we are ALL vulnerable. End. So in this light, I have to say I am so exhausted of the ongoing feuds we are still enabling around the world.

I am beyond exhausted that we even HAVE to have a hashtag #BlackLlivesMatter just so a stand for justice, equity and understanding that it is beyond NOT ok and will not stand to so openly behave in this way, to openly take such aggressive actions against a person because of the colour of their skin, because of perpetuated economic stereotyes and because we as a society have not let go of the ‘black people are dangerous mentality’.

We are all dangerous, and there is no ethnicity that has not done something violent against their own and others, so we need justice now. And to really change this centuries old conditioning, we have to see that when prejudices are boiled down, it is a lethal form of bullying.

Bullying in any form is not acceptable and we all know it is a condition that can be resolved, can be healed, the question here is: Do we want to heal and become the generation that took real, committed strides towards healing prejudices and seeing each other as human beings end,

OR

Are we the generation that keeps the pain and suffering going, by inciting more blame, more finger pointing and not getting justice in the way we all agreed was the process for it?

Let’s be the generation that teaches our differences are wonderful, that we all make mistakes and are flawed but that is not what defines us as a people. Let’s be the generation that teaches love is a human state of being that should not be scoffed at, but spread throughout each and every culture.

What will you choose?


How I’ve Learnt To Reconnect to Source

Two months ago, I made an active decision to become more spiritually woke. I wanted to move my emotional state from feeling super stressed out about money, Covid- freaking-19, bills, followers, you know , the usually plagues of a solo entrepreneur, who is also dealing with personal stressors.

Without truly acknowledging it, the backlash following the abrupt death of my Dad, shook me and catapulted me right back to unhealthy ways, unhealthy thoughts and I allowed myself to feed my fear so much, it almost exploded from my body.

Then after a few conversations with my friends, and a lot of guided meditations, because let’s be honest, I was OVER feeling the tension in my body, the desperation running amok in my thoughts which only gave me headaches, caused me to grit my jaw so hard, I felt my teeth grinding, and muscle aches in my shoulders because of how freaking tense I was keeping them.

It was also my birthday month (April) and really is there a better time to actively choose to take spectacular care of yourself in not on/ around your birthday?

So that’s what I did.

I’m a huge believer and advocate from mindset work and healing, because as we already know, it all starts with your thoughts and from that it leads to actions that build your lifestyle.

So I had a choice to make.

Give into the pressures of stress, desperation and insidious fear, where I started to lose confidence in just about everything that made me the unique and loving person that I am.

Or

Reconnect to myself. Become an active participant in my life again and CHOOSE what I focus on, how I allow myself to feel, what I am available for and concentrate on the surplus of good that was in my life, if I would only acknowledge them.

So I started on the latter.

Was it easy?

Absolutely not. I learnt how deep rooted my fear based state ran and I started to notice just how often I was actively looking for things to make me feel awful, to feel sad, as excuses to justify giving up on actions, my desires, the works.

Reasons to stay in a state of not quite happiness but not quite bouncing off the walls either.

Then I remembered this book: The Level Up Journal Prompter.

It’s the book I created to help me out of this kind of funk.

Within it I go through 9 Chapters which challenge you to move from stuck and playing small to being your Next Level Self.

The self that allows you to take the next step in your life confidently, that allows you to get clear on your goals, get clear on shifting your limiting beliefs and the lifestyle you are calling towards yourself.

From learning how to reconnect with myself and challenging myself to answer the journal prompts openly and honestly- no running from myself- to actually doing the homework and slowly becoming more and more aware of my progress, of my many victories, of how strong I am and will continue to be, I felt super inspired and motivated.

This book, which is loaded with insights I am straight up impressed came out of me, was  perfect to move me again, to gain clarity in my mind and remind myself of how powerful I actually am, of how healthy I want to be both mentally and physically.

I reminded myself that I was allowed to feel my feelings, and to respond to them, it reminded me I was allowed to choose my state of existence and to be unconditionally supported and loved.

It reminded me that I was enough right now and that me growing, stretching and nurturing my love of who I am, were all natural and encouraged.

So this month, I’m re-launching it, because I know these last few weeks in lock down have straight up sucked for some of you. Not necessarily because you couldn’t go outside, but because it caused you to feel unsettled, to face your own thoughts and doubt monster alone and un-equipped.

It forced you into a feeling of melancholy, of panick and of living in the energy of already having failed. Caused to you remember all the stories around why you won’t have a wonderful life or success…It fed your fear based state too.

No more.

You are ready to go a guided journey towards your own power.

Towards realizing what it is, towards getting control over your thoughts, emotions and crystal clear goals.

You’re ready to level the F up!



Wish of the Week: Sleep Dress

SKIMS Sleep Dress (black)

Price:  $56

Why We’re Curious:

Ok, so we all know that I love watching Reality TV, so DUH I also watch Keeping Up With the Kardashian. IDGAF, it’s a guilty pleasure and I am ok with it. So anyway, I was all very interested in Kim’s newest entrepreneurial project, SKIMS, especially since, I’ve never tried shapewear that felt good, but I figured one of the Leaders of the Spanx revolution would change all of that.

Seriously though, the one time I tried to wear compression clothing for my stomach, I felt like my organs were being rearranged and I was immediately over it.

 Let the body flow then, as long as I could breathe and still feel human!

So yeah I was curious about Skims, but then they brought out their Lounge wear and baby, it’s like they were talking directly to me. I live in Barbados and the concept of ‘ house clothes’ is REAL here, so this Sleep dress, which comes in onyx, bone and slate is one of the comfy things I’m craving.

Easy clothes, comfy and fit for everyday wear….oh and it’s machine washable?

That’s me!

I rarely wear bodycon, but I totally would with this one, because it just looks like it can handle these curves, without trying to strictly contain me too tightly. I need some give baby.

Ok fam, I cannot be the only Skim Curi-ast here, so spill the deets and let me know about this product!

Shop Now

How I’m Learning to Love Unconditionally

It never occurred to me that I could be loved unconditionally. The concept itself made very little sense to me, as I simply could not fathom, how it was possible to love someone for doing nothing more than existing.

I subscribed for years, to what I now call ‘conditional affection’,  where the relationship grew based on whether the person was willing to appease you and what they brought into your world to make your own well-being much easier.

You see it often in movies and in love letters, where the person professes his/her love and it’s a laundry list of the ways the other makes their life easier, but rarely states the qualities and traits of the first person; like are they kind, intelligent?

It’s always a very egotisical spiel that made me realize that the relationship would be based on whether the person could keep up or improve upon that laundry list.

The thing is, attraction starts with realizing how someone makes you feel, it gets fuelled by the things you have in common and then by you seeing and approving of behaviours.

The problem comes, because that’s where most of us choose to stop our hearts.

We stop at the things the person does for us, or the things you do for them.

There is another step, where you start to love the person simply because you realize and acknowledge them on an encompassing human level. 


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