The 4 Things You Need to Realise Your Dreams

It can be difficult to have a dream that is so BIG, it challenges your own status quo.

It is a scary concept to have the desire, to want it, to feed and nurture it and worst, to share it.

It’s risky sharing your life goals and future hopes with others because truthfully not everyone in your circle can or will relate.

Our friends and our family are the ones we look to for support, guidance and validation, so when you finally share with them this awesome dream  but their facial expressions change into anything other than a SMILE and a shared look of appreciation for just how awesome your dream and goals are, it gives you a moment of panic.

This panic only grows and spreads when they begin to explain in seemingly unquestionable logic why your dreams are either going to evaporate like water vapor or why it will be the most arduous, stressful thing you will ever do.

And almost immediately, you have major doubts and dwindling motivation because fear and uncertainty are eating you up for breakfast.

In short, depending on who you share your dreams with, you will either discover an enabler or a dream killer!

So what sets those who are successful apart from those who have settled and are resentful, but will still not stand up and attempt to fight for their dreams?


 1)      Be sure of the dream.

Take at least 15 minutes a day and meditate or day dream about the outcome of the dream/ goal. What is it exactly, how will it improve your life and how can you see it changing you and those around you?

Allow the dream to sink into you deeply, so deeply that it seems insane that it’s not a reality yet. I know many will say you need to set a deadline, and a strict path towards getting there, but it’s really up to you and your comfort zone, so hey, if that is how you need it to be,  then do it that way.

The only thing you really need to do here is realize that you are the only one who has this dream and you are the only one who knows the right way in your heart and through your intuition on how to go about achieving it.

2)      You will need to trust and believe in yourself.

You are amazing, that is why this dream and this lifestyle came to you. You are open to it all and if you trust yourself, remain positive and commit to putting in the effort, then you leave the world no choice but to accept your claim on this dream.

It is so easy to turn against ourselves  and to believe we are the ones in the wrong when it comes to these ideas of a better future, mostly because it is lonely feeling apart from the group.

It is lonely feeling as if you need to figure everything out on your own and it is oh so tempting to just fall back into the herd and be just like everyone else.

Just as it’s so easy to believe others when they say: ‘It’s impossible’

“I guess it can happen, but can it happen for you?”

“You’re not actually doing anything tho..”

“You’re daydreaming and your life is running away from you”…

You have to make it so that you prioritise your own voice. You need to be able to trust yourself and have confidence in your own abilities, skills and strengths.

This means taking time to get reacquainted with yourself.

3)       Relentless Persistence

For many people when you have a big goal, and you finally man up and decide to pursue it, this is when you really start to grow and learn about yourself.

This is when the world sees you as a new challenger and will throw as many obstacles and hurdles in your way to test your mettle and your conviction.

Not all hurdles and hurricanes are there to destroy you, some are there to help you clear away the debris.

Don’t worry, it’s not always obvious which is which so I’ve created a tool that helps we to weather the storms and to test my hurdles.

I listen to my heart. I listen to the reaction of my body to these situations and circumstances and I develop my plan forward from there.

It’s easy to give into despair and believe that all these ‘bad things’ that are happening are trying to stem your flow. I prefer to look at them as a journey to earned gold.

When you know what you want and you’re determined to go get it and do what feels right to you to achieve it, then it becomes easier. It’s hard when you’re fighting yourself, trying to prove you can to others and not actually focusing on the prize itself, but the fear of the journey.

4)      Patience and Self love

There will be dips and turns, tricks and tears throughout this journey, that is what will make it so epic. That is what will make your story so amazing and that is what will help you to GROW and see your own strength in your own way.

This journey is not one that runs on anyone else’s time table and only you decide the deadline- i.e when you either wimp out or get your gumption to keep on going.

The bigger the prize, the stronger the warrior and here’s a secret, the warrior does not always start out the strongest, but becomes that at the end of the journey.

You will need to be patient with yourself, you will need to truly start loving and caring for yourself and surrounding yourself with a true supporting squad.

You don’t have to go through this journey on your own- you were never meant to.

You may feel as if you’re on the path alone and in some ways you are, as you are the only one who can walk this path, however, never forget that there will be those there to clear it for you, to help you overcome your own demons and to keep you motivated to push on.

They are so important and worth it.

You can do this.

I believe in you!

You made it to the end! Wooot!

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5 Undeniable Truths About Dream Building

It starts with you rationalizing why there is no way you can ever live the life you fantasize about and it ends with you feeling torn between what you think should do and what you are  feeling in your body that you are being called to do.

And it all feels  like frustration and building resentment.

I’ve lived there!

I was the girl who had the high dreams and a vision of a life that was filled with ease and spending time on activities and people I truly wanted to and I knew what my one talent in life was. 

My problem however was that I just did not know how this was going to make me the amount of money I needed to truly contribute to the kind of lifestyle I was secretly craving.

So I did what seemed to be working for everyone else and  I gave in to my own doubt monster and into the worried pleas of those close to me, to do the ‘responsible’ thing.

I got a job,- a well paying one- that on paper was pretty awesome.

It paid just shy of comfortable and the workload initially was ok and to sweeten the deal even more, I would be utilising my ONE talent!

I convinced myself I was happy with this way of life, after all every day I was utilising my talent and learning new skills and really, it wasn’t that awful, infact, it was actually kind of fun and I had really awesome colleagues.

Yet in the back of my mind I knew- legit gut feeling knew- that this would not last.

And when things finally became too overbearing for me, I jumped ship and took on a job I KNEW was not going to end well for me, because of the reputation of the company was one of being disorganized and stressful….but I told myself I needed the money and I was optimistic that it could work.

The deal sounded right and I had grown to be more confident in my abilities, however, people are a very real factor in any job and negative attitudes can sour even the best of situations when you feel undervalued and overworked.

That lead me to do the unthinkable!   I left the job and my only source of income and in shock of what I had done and in a fit of thriving stubbornness and the need to prove that I was not in fact insane, I started my own series of companies.   However, I can tell you now, that I was NOT at all in the right mindset for such a huge undertaking.  

Really, I was driven by fear, desperation and a need to show everyone that I CAN do it all!  Which was not at all in the direction of my ideal life, but my focus was now on surviving, not actually living.

Now I can go on and on and tell you about that journey, but what I will do instead is tell you what I learnt and hope it helps you to jump over these same hurdles faster, so that you will continue the journey to your dreams with only minimal insanity.

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Photo by Designecologist on

1)      I do not ever need to justify wanting to achieve my dreams!

For a very long time, I felt guilty for daring to try to do what I felt drawn to because from my and many other’s vantage point, there was no real and feasible way for me to actually live the life I really wanted to create.

The guilt was made worse because while I had an urge and a desire, I had no concrete, ‘sure fire’ strategy to achieve this goal and even as I was determined to prove that I could create the money and I could in fact have everything the way I kept telling myself I could, the truth was that I felt like a burden and a slacker, each and everyday a miracle did not happen.

In the process, I gave up on my actual dreams, hopes and even the real plan that I had set out on and got wrapped up like a flipped surfer in a huge wave of online coaches, sure to work techniques and all of the ‘guru’ sanctioned insights.

Which all made me doubt myself and feel like I was some kind of desperate idiot.

Much later on, -and I mean like 30 webinars in a year, if that little  later- I learnt that I did not need any real strategy. In fact, I learnt that I needed to trust myself, learn the technical, but stay true to my own visions and be proud that I even had them.

When you are on the path that is for you, you know it.

Sometimes, you have to learn tough lessons, but that is to make you even stronger, wiser and more appreciative of your dream’s manifestation into reality for you.

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2)      Your loving doubters just do not understand your dreams and that is ok!

My biggest doubters and critics were from those who loved me and I realized later that their constant fussing and worry over where my life was going was out of fear and concern for me.

They wanted to see me do well, but I was going too far out of the box and putting myself at too much of a  risk with no real reward or immediate return on investment (ROI) as far as they could see. 

And they were freaked out. Add to that my own worry and you have a perfect cocktail for a DOUBT party!

However, all of this is normal.

It  is what happens when you follow a path that only you can see; a path that is only for you- and to be honest there will be very few who will understand or be able to see this path as you do.

And that’s ok.

This path, this dream and this goal, is uniquely yours and it is for you to  follow through on , nobody else.

There is no reason to buy into the irrelevant doubts that  are plaguing you and others, instead if a point resonates with you, take it in stride and resolve it as you push forward.

The biggest take away really is that you, yourself need to believe in your intuition, in your dream and know that while the path will lead to success, there has never been a hero who had an easy time achieving their goals. 

However, they all were made even wiser and stronger for it. This will be you as well!

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3)      Changing your ‘how’ or starting over is not a sign of being defeated!

As you go along the journey, it will not be all sunshine and roses. 

That is boring and your life is about to become epic, so you will need some epic challenges to rise up to meet, overcome and become richer for.

These challenges are there for you to rise, meet and conquer so that you can grow even more and re-commit to the lifestyle you are crafting.

I’ve learnt that being on a journey does not mean there is only one way to get there nor can / should you try to do it the same way as another person.

The ground work is the same- you have the goal, you research, you take action, you improve your mindset- but the way you will reach success is uniquely yours.

It is the path that is aligned specifically for you and cannot be exactly duplicated.

I had to learn that while I could do the exact same things as other successful people, I was not getting the same results and I put that on me having limited resources, not trying hard enough, doing something wrong, experience…etc.

The truth was all of that was correct; however the bigger truth was that none of that felt right for me. I had to feel in flow to get the successes I craved and sometimes that meant starting over from where I was in that moment.

Sometimes it meant revisiting an old idea, sometimes it meant reversing and going right instead of left and all of it showed that I was now smarter. I now understood better what was happening in my life.

I was not wiser to embrace the wonders of these experiences and use them to further my own goals. 

The truth is that you are only defeated when you decide you are, when you allow pride, doubt, fear or overconfidence to rob you of your true visions.

woman using silver iphone x while leaning on wall and smiling
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 4)     Never apologize for living the life you desire!

I would get amazing opportunities and feel guilty about it or be cautious of stepping on other’s toes and asserting my own authority.

I would allow the chains of how I should be perceived and how I was told I needed to present myself to blind me and keep me from enforcing the boundaries needed to protect myself from those who were only interested in using me.

All rubbish.

I learnt that if I was not willing to fight for my dreams and celebrate my own successes then I was undercutting my own happiness and not allowing myself to grow into my strengths.

I’m not saying to become an arrogant, jerk, but to employ balance in your life and stay true to who you are and what you successfully put the work into.  

It is safe and welcomed to love yourself, to be proud of yourself and to be confident in all that you are good at and even bad at lol.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on

5)     Your ‘right now’  is not your end all, changes are inevitable!

I remember sitting on my bed in tears because I felt as if my life was crumbling all around me and not feeling to get up, face the day or have the energy to even want to keep trying. 

I remember doubting all my life choices and castigating myself for not sticking through the things I knew in my heart I was settling for, because it felt as if I had massively fucked up and this was my life now- A mess.

I was wrong.

All of that was preparing me for bigger and better things, to have mindset shifts so that I could rise better to new and bigger challenges.

Testing me to see if I was ready to handle more of what I wanted. If I was prepared to truly fight to achieve my dreams and most importantly, trust myself and grow more into who I had decided to become.

In those moments of feeling stuck and in stasis, I refused to imagine a better life, and allowed my thoughts to be clouded by limiting beliefs.

I almost missed all of the lessons learnt and all of the things I had to be grateful for. The truth is, if you are going through hell, just keep going because now you’re fire resistant and knowledgeable about how to do it again with much less fuss.

You’re stronger and you’re wiser.

Your right now is not all of your life.

As long as you have breath in your body, listen to your authentic and core wants and make daily steps towards it, then there is no doubt that your life will begin to be as you desire it to be.

You made it to the end! Wooot!

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How to Be Inspired, Without Losing Yourself

Have you ever met someone who inspired the hell out of you?!

Like in your mind, they are freaking amazing because of how confident they are, how poised and elegant?

They get stuff done, they look AWESOME and their lifestyle is what you daydream about when you want to escape the stress of life’s grinding.

They are living the life that RESONATES with you. They are doing the things that you wish, dream and fantasize about doing and you have a little, secret, platonic crush on them.

(You know it’s true!)

That’s why you follow them on any and all social media accounts. Why you need to let them know that you are around in some way- or you’re more of a lurker and you don’t like anything on the accounts, but you are always aware of their posts and they give you LYFE!

It’s why you are so interested in not just what they are working on but also what they are doing, and what is going in their lives.

They just freaking resonate with you and they inspire you to be better and to want more from your life. They did it, and they are so sure that you can too.

You are very much so invested and you love the feeling you get when they pop up in your notification streams.

Annnnd here’s where things get tricky.

This level of inspiration and motivation can go several ways.

  1. You get inspired to take a look at your own life, decide how you want to improve it for yourself and start researching how you can. You’re so pumped and invigorated by your Motivator’s energy, drive and passionate commitment that you decide you want and can follow in their footsteps and be an even better version of yourself.


2 )  You start to get triggered by your Motivator and instead of building on your own life and your own goals, you start to imitate them, literally modeling yourself after your role models.

This is the challenge we’re about to address in this post: What to do when you start to be so inspired you want to be someone else.

Now I am no doctor, no psychologist and I’m not here to diagnose nor give medical advice, all I am is a fellow person who went through this ordeal herself.

My story as it relates to this particular topic begins with my decision to become an entrepreneur and I was learning how to start up my coaching business. I was desperate at the time, scared, money-poor and so very determined to prove I had not made a huge mistake my leaving my job, no matter how miserable it was making me.

So I started doing online research as one does and from there I learnt not only a lot about starting my business but I also learnt about a variety of groups and coaches that seemed to have it all together and were thriving!

I wanted to thrive like that. I wanted to shine like the brightest star in the night’s sky and so I started following tow specific online coaches hardcore. I wanted to be like them.

They were open, honest, confident and feisty.

They seemed to have it all sorted and as they spoke in their groups and gave advice- engaged with their members, I started wanting- no needing- to be spotlighted. I wanted their validation, because in those moments it felt that if they could just see me, if they acknowledge me then I MUST be on the right path and everything was going to be working out great.

And before I knew it, I was becoming a stalker. I looked at everything I could find about them, their IG stories, I was trying to formulate posts, I was legit doing the most and getting more and more frustrated because I could not understand why I was not making progress like they were.

Yes they were inspiring me, but I no longer felt able to trust my own intuition, I kept trying to merge what they told me into my own my own knowledge bank, determined that using their strategy would catapult me into success, even as I had no idea what the hell I was even doing anymore or what I actually wanted to do in this life.

It was a process and one that was so insidious, because it started off so innocently, so easily and simply, but before I knew it I was trying to emulate them- exactly as a child learning from his/ her parents would!

And that was basically because in many ways I was in fact a child. I was a newbie to this world, trying to understand it and find my footing, so mimicking their behaviours, the way they expressed themselves, even their gestures and view of the world, made sense to me, if it would get me the same results.

After all they always say, mimic those who are successful and you will be successful too, so maybe you start altering the way you think and when faced with a situation, you recall how your Role Model dealt with just this specific occurrence and you try to do it the same way.

What they do not tell you, and they really should is that mimicking someone, becoming so ‘inspired’ by that person can cause you to be triggered, to subconsciously believe that you are not enough, that you are not doing it right and when those things start to happen, it can get very easy to lose yourself in the sea of ‘I want to be like her/him’.

So here are some of the things to look out for, when you feel stuck and inspired by someone, but you feel like maybe you’re starting to emulate them too much, rather than apply their teachings to your own life.

It’s very easy to replace yourself with someone else’s antics and expressions because you identify with them so much and you want to be where you perceive they are in their life journey.

The thing is, they are not where they are by blindly following someone else. They are where are successfully, because they tuned in, tapped in and turned on their intuition and took steps that were in alignment for them.

They believed in themselves, were confident in their outcome and never gave up on themselves, no matter how many times they had to pivot or change the way they were doing something in their lives.

They have moved past that need to compare themselves with others, instead taking the time to process who they are, what they want and tailor a strategy that brings more of the people they want in their lives to them.

So if you’re making the huge mistake of comparing yourself to your Motivator, which honestly is such a seemingly natural and obvious thing to do, I urge you not to do it.

Some when they compare themselves, are able to decide they can do better, they are lead to improving on themselves from a healthier place of thought, while others when they play the compare game, only find themselves coming up short and are ready to replace what they see as ‘not good enough’ with an example of what is.

You are already good enough, you are already in the process of improving and learning, do not forget that you are special. That there is so much that is special and wonderful about you.

Your idea of success is not some far off dream, where you need to replace yourself to achieve it. Your idea of success is in fact just that: your idea!

You get to decide how to transform your own life and it’s all to be found in your mindset. How you react to being inspired by someone or something is legit a mindset game.

For me, when I caught myself, I left the group because there were too many like myself in there, trying to gain validation from the Coach as a teacher’s pet would from a teacher and I realized this was not what I wanted.

I did not want to try to impress anyone, I wanted to actually be impressive, I wanted to feel like I was safe in my own skin and I needed to do that away from the group.

It was time I got real, and that meant realizing that I had to know several things for myself, because only then could I move forward and actually strive for the specific kind of success I yearned for.

So readers, here is my advice to you: You are YOU for a reason.

You are special in your own way and there is nothing wrong with being inspired, there is nothing wrong with accepting that your life can get better and better, and there is nothing wrong with choosing to grow using your own parameters and nurturing systems.

Those who you are so inspired by, they had to do the same and are still in the process of it; they are learning and growing more into themselves daily and you can as well.

Here’s some advice on how to truly realign with yourself!

First of all, stop trying to race before you can even crawl.

You covet their lifestyle because it seems so perfect and glamorous and awesome, but have you even thought about what this really means for you?

Do you really want this lifestyle and understand what it entails?

You know what this person likes, dislikes, will buy, will slay in….but what about yourself?

There is power in getting to know and loving yourself.

There is power in realising that being inspired to want more does not automatically mean that you as a person need to do a complete overhaul in someone else’s image.

Here are some journaling prompts that helped me to really get back on track and reconnected to my own goals and chosen lifestyle:

>> How does it feel when you see/ read anything about that person?

>> How does this affect your life?

>> Are you prepared to put in the effort/ possible sacrifices and lessons needed to achieve that level of perceived success for yourself?

>> What does a successful and happy lifestyle look like for you specifically?

>> Do you feel worthy of this success?

>> Are you ready to realize you’re only going to get this success if you are yourself and you are authentic?

>> Do you remember how to be you?

I know you’re probably reading this thinking, what the hell? How can I forget to be myself?

You would be surprised dear!

It’s so easy to be caught up with someone else- especially when we believe that person to be doing, experiencing or living in a way that we would dearly love to achieve- that we discard the parts of ourselves that are uniquely us, in favour of what we think is better.

All I’m going to say is this: You are amazing, you have value to offer and you need to spend time with yourself.

 Get to see the ‘power’ of your smile, the way your eyes sparkle, your quirkiness and your personality as uniquely thrilling aspects of yourself.

There is nothing saying that you, being you can’t re-craft your life in a way that is in alignment for you, in a way that allows you to feel inspired to make growing changes and in a way that also promotes self love, confidence and success!

Inspire yourself daily and you can appreciate others, without trying to pseudo-clone them, because you genuinely do not need to.

You are already more than enough and so NEEDED in this world!

You made it to the end! Wooot!

Subscribe to Ashlee’s Patreon ‘The Ash Files’ to be the very first to read, receive and offer feedback on her newest works. Subscribe here.