Envy No More: How To Be Happy When Everyone Else’s Life Looks Perfect

They are all wrong!

It’s not that you hate your life; it’s that you know that it can be even better!

You know your life can be so much more and, you feel it in your gut, you feel it every time you think of what you’d rather be doing in this very instance if things would only FINALLY go your way.

You know it’s possible to live this free, adventurous and relaxed lifestyle, because whenever you go on your social media, there are hundreds of stories about those who left their job and are now vacationing in Bali, can work whenever and wherever they want to, are constantly partying but most of all, what really attracts you to the accounts are the looks of total bliss and freedom they are expressing.

And those images, stories and experiences are what draw you like a magnet to their accounts.

You gobble up their stories of living a fully free life, of making money in their sleep, of pursuing their dreams effortlessly and flawlessly and you compare that to your own seemingly boring and staid existence while  longing settles deep inside.

man riding on the motorcycle beside woman standing on the road
Photo by Dimitri Kuliuk on Pexels.com

Why can’t that be you?

Why can’t you be the one sharing the stories of living this fabulous life, of going to the parties, of rubbing shoulders with amazing people, of buying whatever you want, going wherever you want when you want?

Why are you only sitting on the sidelines, pining over someone else’s lifestyle , deciding as you  want more that your own life will never even be close to theirs?

So you get envious, frustrated, angry, jealous, exhausted and stressed out because you no longer feel as if your life measures up or will ever get even truly close to all the things you now believe you need to have in it.

You focus on all the things that are glaringly missing. The people in your life, start to point out the long laundry list of things that you have yet to accomplish and compare you with those close to your age or younger who seem to be living that socially-accepted close to perfect life and because you’re hyper aware of this, and it STINGS- it drives you even further into the scarcity mindset.

Where even as you want more, desire more and work towards it, the one thing that drags you just from the finishing line- that you aren’t even aware is  so close to you-, is the fact that you already know that you’re never gonna get there.

And the real reason that you’re never going to get there is because you’ve not been honest about what you really want in life.
tea drinking

You haven’t been honest about what lifestyle you truly would enjoy.

You have not been honest about the fact that you lost sight of your intuitive end goals a long time ago because you buried them deep in your psyche.

You haven’t been honest about the fact that you do NOT believe in the possibility of your life changing for the drastically better without some sort of cosmic sacrifice, (which means really that you have already doomed yourself to failure, even as you pretend to bury that thought).

All of that doesn’t deter you however, from wanting to prove those who doubt you wrong.

If anything, it drives you to all out war, and you hustle, grind, do all the things, but never just enough to actually win consistently, because deep down you know you’re not going to.

You just need a win. You just need something to show that you are working towards success, but whose version of success are you actually working towards?

For a long time, I thought success was checking off my grocery list of things to have, things I had to prove and living a life that was more professionally based than actually feeding my soul.

I spent hours researching how to make money from home, because I felt as if my  job was making me crazy and I was convinced that I could make large sums of money quickly so that I could just enjoy myself without having to worry about money.

I wanted all the nice things- vacationing, expensive dinners because I love food, time to go to the gym, time to relax and unwind, etc.

And I was going to do ALL I needed to do because I wanted this and I SAW others living this, so I could too. Envious?

Of course not, I just wanted to live a wholly different life, just like those other people who were boldly boasting were as well!

At least that was what I told myself.

design desk display eyewear
Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com

In reality, what I was doing was counterproductive to any of the things I wanted.

I stayed at home, researching how to build my business and tried a hundred marketing strategies, that promised to work with no large investment, even as  I knew were not intuitively correct for me because I was now fully on into my DESPERATION mode and not the ‘I love what I’m doing’ mode.

I strained my eyes because I was forever staring intently into the computer screen, trying to figure out what I was obviously doing wrong, because the Experts all said they did this one thing and maybe I’m just not good at this… and instead of actually taking time to heal, I brainwashed myself into thinking a little strain was nothing and tried to make myself work even harder all to no better or further results.

I did not really work out, because I had no time to spare  and if I did manage to squeeze in a few minutes, it was to work out the mounting  frustration, I felt at STILL not living that glamourous life! Which meant that I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the fact that I was getting stronger and more flexible ; instead I became fixated on the fact that the scale was not decreasing as quickly as it damn well should be.

I did not really sleep or actually wake up feeling refreshed because my mind was turbulent and I could not shut off my thoughts or the web of increasing fears that wrapped tighter and tighter each day that I failed at my goals.

And in all of this, I spent rare time with my friends, ( citing mountains of work, no money and no free time) , got irritable with my family when they needed my help with anything (because seriously, can’t they see I’m trying to get stuff done? Why can’t they even try to appreciate what I’m trying to build here?)

I got progressively deeper and deeper into the mindset that I was a stupid failure  who was never going to be one of those people who got to just lived life as they freakin well wanted and should just shrivel up and stop, because obviously I was never going to hack this thing.

Hindsight is 20/20 and now I can tell you that all of that stress and self castigation was not at all in line with what I was telling others or even myself  about what I wanted in life.

So what was the root of this discrepancy in what I wanted in life and what I was doing?

My idea of being successfully happy was what was screwing with me and I suspect you as well.

Chatting with a friend of mine recently about life and why we got so frustrated about not having the things we wanted, we came to realisation that our mindset and the things we claimed to want were not our true goals.

It was a shock to realise that even as we were trying to change our lives, we were still essentially people pleasing!

Yes, we wanted to break away from the status quo of white picket fence, and an ok job, where we worked up to 5 weeks of VACATION. Where the amount of money you had declared your life a success or failure and  wanted to chart our own path, but in the bak of our minds, the things that were driving us were not our true wants.

We were still protecting them by hiding them from ourselves and getting frustrated when we were unable to achieve them.

What did that mean for us then?

It meant that I had not actually decided for myself what success ACTUALLY looked like, what it would feel like and mean to me; rather, I was looking at OTHER people’s ideals of success and how they were creating that for themselves.

Isn’t that crazy?!

My borrowed idea of happy success and accompanying envy was what was holding me back from living a life that was truly free and happy. I was grinding and hustling because I was told I needed to and I believed that that was true, even as I was focusing on the things that didn’t mean as much to me.

So if I truly wanted to be living the lifestyle that I knew deep down I wanted, then I had to be honest with myself and most importantly, reconnect to my true goals and desires.

So yes, others were building families, getting promotions, working their dream jobs, vacationing in exotic places around the world and making money in their sleep.

And if I’m honest with myself, while I was impressed by those things, they were not necessarily what I wanted for myself and not intuitively right for me in the way others were getting those results.

That revelation lead me to do more mindset work, to dive deeply into myself and pull out my truth from the depth of the vault I had hidden them within.

When I really did the mindset work and put in real effort to envision the kind of life I was truly craving, I found that what was truly important to me were not necessarily  tangible, rather there were about moments.

Do I want to make the money?  Yes.

Do I want to live the carefree life and own all the creature comforts that I see? Hellz Yes.

Are those the most important things in my life? No

And that shocked the crap outta me, because if they weren’t that important, then should I be focusing on them with the intensity that I had  been?

What I did learn was that what was the most important things in my life were my experiences, my moments spent with those I loved and who loved me.

It was about being fully present in the moment and making lasting memories. It was about feeling healthy and brimming with joy at being in my own skin.  It was about being self sufficient, and enjoying the life I was creating one action and thought at a time.

Those were the things that truly mattered to me and as such those were the things that needed to have my intense concentration. And the more I focused on those things, the more the other things came into being.

The other things, the money, the business and the luxurious things I wanted, all came to being as they were necessary to support my other goals.

( So I wanted to spend more time with my family, then I had to ease off of the long hours and late nights. Same thing for really taking care of myself and as I did that, my business started to actually take off, because I was now taking actions that were not from desperation, but from a true place of confidence and allowing the business to actually breathe!).

I started giving energy finally to the things that fuelled my soul and allowed them to light up the rest of my life.  Something so simple now as I write it, took me months to give myself permission to do.

Afterall, I had been taught to focus on making the money at all costs, on working so hard at my job, and it felt weird to not be giving 12 hours to trying to make money and build the empire.

It felt weird at first to actually spend weekends ‘slacking’, to allow myself to rest, to not be obssessed with the things that were going wrong and to celebrate no matter how small the things that were going right

Even now I’m still struggling and learning to just be! Years of conditioning will not go away overnight. it takes WORK!

And I’m very happy that I have allowed myself to come to this firm decision  to shift my mindset so that it was more centered on me truly enjoying life, instead of waiting for when things were ‘perfect’ to start.

And what really helped me to get to this pinnacle point in my life?

The Level Up Journal Prompter.

Level Up works

This workbook changed my life and the lives of those who have worked through it, by reminding us that we are not in a race with others and that our self is the thing that we need to be nourishing and helping to truly grow.

It has 8 core themes, that as you work through  guides you to insights about how you really want to create and nurture the life you want.

  • That means reconnecting and learning yourself as you would with a BFF. What do you really want, what really drives you etc.

  • How to identify, conquer and resolve your limiting beliefs and triggers.

  • What stories you have created around your life due to your experiences and how they have been shaping your life and how you can use them to empower yourself.

  • How to start truly trusting yourself implicitly.

  • How energy really works and how you can use it to actually manifest your real end goals.

  • Understanding what intuition really is and how to use it to guide you through your best life.

  • Creating and envisioning your Next Level Self and bridging the gap between the You of now and that Boss level person.

The Level Up Journal Prompter is one of the only resources on the market that challenges you to really introspect and not only express yourself but also gives you homework so that you take real time actions that will give you real results.

Nothing is ever gained by just journaling and writing ( sadly), you also need to do the work, after you’ve gained the honest insights.

The journaling  will help to clarify your path, now you have to actually take the steps and the Level Up Journal Prompter is perfect for guiding you to action for making the life you wanted for real.

So are you ready?

Are you ready to STOP being envious over other people’s way of live and boldly live your own, freely, happily and enthusiastically?

Are you ready to intuitively describe your own version of what YOUR successful life looks like?

Are you ready to pursue your real end goals and reap the benefits of putting your energy and effort into the things you ACTUALLY want to accomplish and live for yourself?

If you answered, yes to any of these, it means that you are ready to take action!

It means that you are over settling for less than you KNOW you can have!

You’re SO ready to get to the good part, ( career success, love, money etc) !

You’re ready for things to FINALLY start going your way!

You are ready to evolve and become not only a happier version of yourself, but a levelled up version of you!

The you who no longer people please, or gets frustrated when people don’t get/ scoff at  your vision but gets the results they actually desire, even as they are scared.

The You who is so invested in enjoying their live RIGHT NOW that they are ready to make it a reality and the Level Up Journal Prompter is the first step towards starting the real work to getting there.


READY TO ELEVATE?

LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE BY LETTING YOUR REAL FEARS, DESIRES AND STRATEGIES POUR OUT OF YOU WITH THIS UNIQUE AND EFFECTIVE GUIDE


Failure is Only the Beginning of Your Level Up

If you had told me just two years ago that my epic failures would have paved the way for me to be on track to living my ideal life, I would have probably punched you in the arm and blocked you.  (maybe)

First of all, don’t call out my failures like that. Second, don’t lie!

All I could see then, was how everything was out of control, how exhausted I was and how sure I was that it was only a matter of time before everything went tits up again.

I was seriously blinded to the fact that just like in those books I love, I – the heroine of this piece- was simply going through her growing pains that would finally open her eyes to the truth about what she soul deeply wanted and lead her on the path to getting it.

( Hindsight is an amazing thing when you finally get it, but in the moment, these events feel like you’re drowning in a deep abyss and ain’t glamorous or as fun as they make it seem in the books and movies!)

And if you had told me that I could turn my life around through journaling, there would have been a real high possibility that I would have thrown water at you and told you to ‘ Buzz off’.

And it’s not because I didn’t like journaling, rather it was HOW I had been journaling that would have made me think that you were just being annoying for no reason … and possibly taunting me.

For me, journaling was tantamount to simply reporting the details of my day into a book, to vent about something or to just express myself in a safe-ish and private place, with some thoughts about how I felt about an event, but certainly not as I use it now.

It was not an activity I saw being even remotely possible to being  described as  ‘ life changing’ or even something that could help me in real time, so you cannot begin to imagine my shock when I started learning about journaling prompts and actually tried them out for 10 days!

It was such an eye-opener for me!

Who knew, I could get this level of insight into myself from just expressing myself on paper? Everyone….apparently.

I had enrolled in a free event with Amanda Frances, and it was to help entrepreneurs to release the blocks they had around their businesses and money, while guiding us to being honest about how we envisioned them to function and convert.

Now Amanda is one of the few business coaches who believes that mindset goes a long ass way towards success in all forms and so, her homework was in the form of journaling prompts.

And these prompts really opened up my world to what I had OBVIOUSLY been missing out on for way too long.

With the prompts, I had to really zero in on the question and be honest with myself about the corresponding answer, since that would determine how I structured the business and get those results I was craving.

This process also showed me just how much I was still lying to myself and attempting to keep even my thoughts about my future and my desires as safe and vague as possible.

It brought home with startling clarity that if I was still playing small  even to myself, then I was in a real bad way after all and I was tired of that!

I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t express my real wants even to myself because the crushing disappointment of not finding a way to make them a reality may send me crazy.

I was tired of feeling like I was being called for so much more but in the moment being stuck AF and could not see the trees for the bushes.

I was exhausted living in the problem and not allowing myself to believe that I was capable of the solution.

  I had somewhere along the way accepted that failure was more likely and reasonable an outcome than me actually achieving what I wanted to.

I was so over all of that!

I wanted to be honest  with myself finally and I could feel this block in my brain, hiding my true wants away from me, in the same manner as when I hide sweets from my 5 year old cousin- just out of reach.

It was beyond infuriating and in my frustration, I challenged myself to flip the script and instead of getting angry and petulant, I’d calm down and get to the bottom of this.

So I took the time to clear my mind ( not easy at all!) , to relax my breathing, and to focus on the truth of the questions presented to me.

I also allowed myself to not stress about the length of my answers, rather just on being honest and not shying away from the truth, even as my brain tried and kept trying to switch gears. Honestly, it felt like i was trying to wrangle a stubborn horse into a pen!

And do you know what?

It brought such clarity to my life; I started to get excited again and my brain reignited with so many ideas for what I wanted to implement in my future and business. I felt some of the tension I’d had from wrangling my thoughts and some of my limiting beliefs melt away and I felt lighter.

My head no longer hurt and felt foggy, my shoulders were suspiciously looser and my whole body was buzzing with a very different type of energy.

Re-reading my answers a day later- because I believe in letting things marinate- I allowed them to trigger whatever emotion denoted within me and gave myself permission to simply feel them.

To not scrutinize them, or wrestle with them but to simply let them wash over me like waves crashing on the sandy shores and allow my real thoughts to come to light from the vault in my mind.

Allowed them to challenge, inspire and dare me to do something about them, to turn them from fleeting thoughts triggered by intuitive nudges into aligned actions.

And that was what I did.

For those who know me, you know that I love writing things down and creating resources (I have too many outlined ideas for projects! Guys it’s a problem!).

So that is what I did.

I set pen to paper and created the Level Up Journal Prompter, because I needed to go through the self –reflective process again, but this time the target would not be for my business, rather it would be for my life.

I had started to feel disconnected from myself in ways that defy explanation and meditation was  just not enough to help me to feel reconnected again, plus I was listening to a lot of mindset coaches and they introduced the concept of ‘ Next Level Self’ which for all intents and purposes was your ideal, leveled up version of self.

The version of you that has moved past your blocks, is living the life you could only have dreamt of right now and has an improved mindset.

And I knew that to get to the true, honest to God version of my leveled up self I had to go through the steps. I had to reconnect with myself first- become consciously aware of whom I was right now, and become aware of the other factors that would be impacting on my growth.

So I sat down, created the questions, answered them, and guided myself along the path to not only reconnecting to who I am right now, but also who I am growing into!

That is the power of the Level Up Journal Prompter.

Those who have already bought it since its launch this year, told me that  it has helped them to become more aware of themselves, realize just what triggered their limiting beliefs, helped them to repurpose them and has challenged them to be more honest about what they really want out of life and what energy and effort they were truthfully going to put into making those thoughts reality.

It’s all about leveling up and growing into an enhanced you, with love, understanding and the strength accumulated for the you of right now!

Once you have learnt how to truly reconnect with yourself and allow yourself to grow or ‘level up’ everything else gets to work a whole lot better.

Those worries that have been plaguing you, that you’ve been shoving down, they become indicators and add to your strategies list.

Those people, who always try to use your insecurities against you, are suddenly powerless because you now are able to create and enforce your boundaries.

That feeling of being lost, disappears because you now have a Light Me up list and know yourself even better.

Those tight shoulders and strained back that are always bearing the load of your stresses can finally unwind and relax, because you’ve figured out the best way to actually release your stress, so you have more fun, laugh more and spend more time with those you want to.

The Level Up Journal Prompter comes with 9 unique themes, all designed  to help you explore and delve deeply into the best thing ever created in this dimension- You and guides you to see yourself for real.

It also helps to show how far you’ve already come and how to bridge the gap from the awesome you now to the Next Level version of you!


READY TO ELEVATE?

LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE BY LETTING YOUR REAL FEARS, DESIRES AND STRATEGIES POUR OUT OF YOU WITH THIS UNIQUE AND EFFECTIVE GUIDE


How My Epic Failures Allowed for a Fully Free Life

It never occurred to me that just 4 months after my 30th birthday I’d be moving back in with my parents, especially when I had successfully done all the things I had been told to accomplish and a bit more by age 27.

I was an amazing journalist who got to cover all the top shows and pageants, who was schmoozing with Ambassadors and got specially invited to their functions.

I was even one of the extremely few journalists to be allowed to cover an event in the depths of the American Embassy in Barbados all while making decent pay.

I lived with my husband who supported my dreams and wanted to happily build our family together and we had not too long moved from our starter home in a really nice community, into an amazing townhouse styled apartment which was even closer to his work.

My family both biological and the in laws, all got along and I received nothing but love from my husband’s family. His mom was like my second maid-of-honour!

My new neighbours were fun and awesome. And I was ecstatic when my friend Jax moved in next door and we had our wine and chill nights with one of our other neighbours, Jen, a working single mother of one.

I was living the dream of writing for a living, I fully owned my car  and was about to launch a new business with one of my best friends- turned sister (we got so extremely close that people really thought we could be twins- despite us looking nothing alike lol), while launching my own solo business in graphic design!

(read: Can you spell busy bee?)

So what the hell happened?!

How did I go from living that life, to moving back with my parents’ seconds away from being absolutely  destitute and willing myself  not cry because I was sure I would flood the parish, if not the whole country?

Turns out the things that look great on paper aren’t always that great or long lasting, particularly when they are not your END goals, but you decide you can settle for them.


Ashlee Cox of Ashlee Unscripted

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what awaits you

Ashlee takes you on a journey of how her seemingly awesome lifestyle, was not what it seemed.

We get insights from her job, the good, the bad and the reasons why she felt compelled into becoming an entrepreneur.

Ashlee gets vulnerable and heartbreakingly honest about how her marriage failed, the lessons she learnt from it and how it’s allowed her to build a much healthier and better future.

She talks about the journey of starting over from seemingly scratch and how she figured out to stop punishing herself for it.

She pinpoints the differences in her mindset then and now

How she learnt to forgive herself and allow a future filled with hope and renewed faith

She talks about her life now and the amazing things she is up to now

She talks about  the things she had to release and learn to enjoy her present.


Up next shop Success for the Stressed Goal Getter

4 Reasons You Should Be Proud of Your Mistakes

You’re not perfect, you’ve fucked up and honestly you’ve also been fucked over.

Who hasn’t?

At some point in our perfectly imperfect human lives, we’ve either been the villain, the victim or the hero in a given situation and had to make decisions on how to go forward after the fact.

Not all of our decisions in life have been great nor had the outcomes we would have preferred, but there they are and there they stand, still impacting on our life stories.

We have all made mistakes in life however, for those of you who have realized what your mistakes are and have taken ownership for them, then cheers to you!

You are on your way to your next level self, and you’ve realized the real way we should view our mistakes. There are several reasons that you should be proud of all the mistakes you’ve made in your life and while that may seem slightly insane, it’s the absolute truth.

I can almost hear you asking: Why should I be PROUD of my mistakes?  I should be ashamed and feel guilt over them, not anything else!

Especially since you feel as if these horrific events now define who you are, when it seems as if you can never live down what happened or when this mistake caused so much pain and suffering in your life and possibly others…When you have yet to forgive yourself for making them in the first place?

Let me help shed some light on your gloom and doom and show you why making mistakes is not the end of the world, just another character development chapter in your autobiography.


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what awaits you:

The 4 huge reasons you should be proud of your mistakes. eah you read that right.

How mindset shifts and healing will lead you to a much healthier and wiser lifestyle

How moving on form these mistakes and living in the present are exactly what the Mindset Coach ordered.

How understanding your path and you mistakes will help not only you, but others.

How these 4 reasons will show you a new level of awakening you didn’t even know you had.

What understanding your mistakes says about you and your future


Up next, shop our Level up Journal Prompter