How I learnt to Let Life be Easy

Can I really have what I want in this life and can it be easy?

This was the question I struggled with for years upon years and most often than not, the answer I came up with was a resounding ‘no’.

I was taught hardwork, struggling and paying dues were all the benchmarks I had to go though repeatedly, before I could see any hint of success.

I was taught to wait for the inevitable shoe to drop, if anything good ever happened to me and without truly noticing it, this was the way I started to live my entire life.

I started to mistrust people who were kind, friendly and seemed generally good natured, because it reminded me of how I used to be and made me upset that I was no longer that person, but I couldn’t be that person, because all the lessons I’ve learnt ( and learnt well) yelled at me that I had to be guarded, I had to people please, I had to hide  who I was and look to other successful people to show me what my life should look like, what my thoughts should be and what I was allowed to achieve.

Now here’s the thing, you simply cannot have this mindset when you’re looking to do great things. I’m a naturally empathetic person and something ALWAYS felt wrong about this lifestyle, but damn if I could put my finger on what exactly it was.

So years go by and my intuition,- that whispering guardian angel that lives within me- that I would occasionally listen to every now and again, started pestering me and pestering me. It was sick of seeing me settle, sick of seeing me lose confidence and looking for a semblance of affection in the wrong people.

It was tired of me adding unnecessary burdens to my heart, tired of feeling my pain over and over again, tired of me basing my dwindling happiness on beliefs that were designed to drain it.

 So it finally rose up and got my attention.

And one day, after the weeks following a tremendous health scare that I was being treated for, my defenses were down. I was for the first time in a long time, also fed up of the pain, the betrayals and feeling as if I had let myself down.

That’s when I felt the intuitive nudge; taking it as a sign from God that I simply could no longer ignore, I allowed the message to flow into me. It told me there was no need for struggle, no need to burn myself out, no need to make everything complicated.

It explained no one was impressed by any of this.

And I wanted to believe in it so bad, but old habits die really freaking hard and I felt my mind erupt into a civil war. One side preaching that life was always supposed to be joyous and beautiful, the other saying that if it isn’t hard and complicated how will I learn to appreciate it?

Turns out I was not ready for my life to be easy, I wasn’t ready to release my teachings no matter how wrong they felt. I wasn’t ready for my life to be so aligned I could have everything and anything I wanted.

I was fighting tooth and nail for my limitations.

Mind you, I tested the theory a few times and it worked beautifully each time, but it was not enough for me to rehab the 3 decades strong fear addiction. And when that truly hit me- that not only was I choosing to feel crappy and complicate my life, but I was doing so because i was so driven by fear and the need to struggle, I made a real decision to get to the bottom of this need and reprogram my mind.

It was time for me to allow my life to flow. I had seen the evidence for myself. I bought my car cash, I rented  a condo for super cheap and it was in a great natural area, I was in fact never actually short on money, I always got what I wanted even if I didn’t buy it and the coup de grace, I was loved unconditionally by awesome humans!

So when it really sunk in that my life wanted to be easy, that it wanted to be successful and there was no need to stress and struggle, only to listen, align and do.

I finally started to allow things to flow. I finally moved things out of my way and reconnected with my inner being and that rare feeling of harmony and trust.

Life became so easy , I almost started to doubt its longevity again, because the last thing to leave me was the idea that good things could run out and I’d be left holding the proverbial bag. Funny how I never thought bad things could come to an end…

So I went to mindset rehab and I came out so much better for it. It’s a daily effort to reprogram my mind ( 30 years of habits do not change in a week) and each day I get stronger, more confident, more aligned and life is something I want to actively engage in again.

One of the resources I used when I was going through this period was the Level UP Journal Prompter. This book is filled with journal prompts, exercises and insights that I personally used to challenge myself into changing old teachings for new intuitive ones.

It’s easy to say I want better for myself, but as I learnt, it’s not so easy to walk the walk and release the bad habits to receive abundance. Hope and Faith are hard because of those same teachings, but it’s not impossible.

I know you’re ready to do more, to drop the effing struggle and let life actually flow in harmony as it needs to be. I know you’re over feeling as if you have to climb that oil slicked ladder, getting nowhere fast.

Use the book, go through the 9 chapters and allow yourself to expand, to grow and step into the awesome power that is your birthright. Add to your reading list now.

The Confusing Skill You Didn’t Know You Needed

Is it me or does it feel as if the more we obsess about our goals, the more they seem to frustratingly not happen?

We are often told that if we want to be successful in life, we need to have motivation, desire, ambition and commitment, but as I’ve realized recently, there is another very important ingredient that many seem reluctant to talk about.

And since I’m not a reluctant person, but mostly because I want to share this information with you, I’ll let you in on the most secretive ingredient since KFC’s 7 herbs and spices.

The ingredient is ‘detachment’.

Yes, you read that correctly!

Now I can almost hear you murmuring, ‘what does detachment have to do with being successful?” cue confused face.

The term ‘detachment’ usually brings up thoughts of being indifferent, apathetic or dissociative, however, in truth, these are all erroneous assumptions.

“One can be loving, happy, helpful and energetic, and at the same time be detached. I mean detached from worries, fears, negative emotions and the negative emotions of other people,” says Remez Sasson, author of Emotional Detachment for Happier Life.

The skill of being emotionally and mentally detached is the art of choosing to remain calm and happy even when things in your life suck, because you have learnt how to remove the expectation of results unfolding in any specific way.

In short you have learnt to make peace with the fact that life is an unfolding saga of uncertainty and that’s ok, because you realize you never had that kind of directive cosmic control to begin with, thus the more you fight for something, the more it’s likely to not happen.

 “I call it the ‘backwards law.’ When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float. When you hold your breath, you lose it — which immediately calls to mind an ancient and much neglected saying, ‘Whosoever would save his soul shall lose it,” writes Alan Watts in the 1951 book, The Wisdom of Insecurity.

Many of us, in our search for betterment and to draw positive abundance to ourselves know that while success is inevitable, there is much to be said for understanding that the world we live in is not one to be controlled in our fashion, rather it requires us to keep our energies up and to have faith that everything is working out in our best favour.

This is one of the reasons many experts in the field of energy, mindset and even psychology encourages their clients and followers to not become attached and stressed by the process of succeeding, rather to focus on the outcome and the emotional response it elicits.

Tania Kotsos, contributor for Mind Your Reality, notes, “Once you accept the truth about your thought power and that you are one with the One Universal Mind, you will be able to release any need to control the process. Instructing the all-knowing Universe “how” you want things to come about is telling Omniscience that you know better.”

And this is one of the many reasons it is beyond ok to stop obsessing about your goals and getting impatient for them to manifest.

 The simple truth is that becoming overly attached erodes at the power you actually have and opens you for even more frustrations, stressful situations and adversely affects your health.

Marla Tabaka, a small business adviser, notes on INC, “Desperately wanting, or needing a specific outcome in any given circumstance–to the point of stressing out about it–is harmful to your health and happiness. Literally.”

So why is being overly attached so health harming?

It’s because this behavior will lead to such physical symptoms as stress headaches, anxiety, upset stomach and shortness of breath.

To be overly attached to your idea of success, whatever it might be ( promotion, new car, more money, etc) will keep you trapped in fear and a ‘ continuous state of unhealthy desire and lack’, especially when you throw someone else’s actions and opinions of you into the mix.

Tabaka, explains that there is a power and a resilience to those who are able to want an outcome, and detach themselves from the significance of it.

“People who can successfully detach from the outcome will not be affected or daunted by obstacles or failures; they always bounce back and try again,” she notes.

“Those who are overly focused on getting exactly what they want and how they want it to happen fall into patterns of self-pity and concern about failure and missed opportunities.

 The person who manages healthy detachment is always innovating and moving forward. A state of healthy detachment helps to redefine failure and shifts the focus to positive, solution-based thinking,” she continued.

So you can see being detached from the outcome of your goal is actually a very useful and healthy practice, because it allows you to think more clearly, stay balanced and it is unlikely you will become agitated in response to what others say or think about you.

Remez Sasson, author of Emotional Detachment for Healthier Life, notes that true detachment, “…helps you control your moods and states of mind, and therefore, enjoy inner balance, harmony and peace. It also helps you handle more efficiently your daily affairs of life, as well difficult situations or emergencies.”

He too contends that the state of detachment comes from a place of inner strength and peace, coexisting with self control, self discipline and a focused mind.

It, according to Sasson, brings inner calmness and tranquility that external circumstances cannot disturb or upset.

 If there is one skill that we all need, it’s the ability to understand that yes, we want this outcome and then to release the ‘how, when, where’ to the Universe to figure out. 

How many times have you obsessed over getting something specific, and not receive it, decide you’re just going to let it be and then as soon as you’re about to forget about it, it shows up?

That’s the point of detachment.

Not only does it allow your goal outcome to manifest at the best time, it also allows you freedom and space to enjoy life while you work on it, without incurring such fleeting but destructive emotions as self-pity, doubt, failures and missed opportunities. “A state of inner detachment helps to forget failure and focus on the future and on success,” notes Sasson.

You made it to the end! Wooot!

Now come join me in the Ash Files, where we are talking, sharing and story-telling about this and other Ashlee Unscripted posts! Subscribe here.

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Unscripted in 15 Ways

Ashlee’s goal for Ashlee Unscripted is to be a platform to inspire and inform readers with energy and insights into overcoming and resolving some of life’s more formidable roadblocks and challenges.

And it is with that in mind that I am super excited to announce that we have created our first official blog-zine, aimed at providing some of the insights and guidance to move past real blocks in real time!

After months of behind the scenes planning and curating the right articles for this particular project, The Unscripted Collective Vol 1 is finally available!

This product serves up a massive dose of mindset expansion and encourages you to keep motivated while being present in life’s little moments of bliss and learning.

As many of you may know, Inner work has long been an important and vital part of Ashlee’s belief in creating the life you truly desire with ease and understanding, so the creation of this book was a perfect match for her teachings as well as her love for designing her own products.

“I wanted to create something that was easy to read, was even fun, but also carried some amazing insights and real life experiences! I genuinely love this blog-zine and it’s also digital so you can read it anywhere, anytime.

Ashlee explains.

I’ve since created more niches specific products but the Unscripted Collective Volume 1 is my first love and I’m super proud of it!”

Ashlee makes it a point to re-read her own words and to also read the words of other coaches and bloggers that resonate with her. She explained that the idea for the blog-zine came to her when she was looking over her blog and thought it would be pretty cool to have these articles in a space that was all her readers’ choice and they could travel with easily.

“I love sharing my experiences with those, who are going through right now what I also went through and that is what drives me to create my books, to do the videos on IG and to keep this blog going. It is not easy to share your own deep stories at times or to open up and show others that yeah I went through crazy and I’m still standing, but that is exactly the kind of message they need to hear and know to be true,” she explained.

Ashlee, as you can imagine has been very hands-on with this product, from the articles used to the way the finished product was designed, making sure that it reflected a fun, engaging and edgy feel for her loyal readers.  With a strong belief that beauty and self love starts from the inside, before it can radiate out, Ashlee wanted to ensure that the product was also a worthy buy for those who wanted to read it.

The Unscripted Collective Vol 1 is the perfect book for those who love to read, but also love the magazine feel of blogs and the fun way information is expressed.

What Awaits you :

Couch time with Ashlee, as she talks about choosing to forgive, not to let the poison of betrayal ruin her life, but choosing a healthier and happier path while working through the pain

Diving into why being just who you are can be a hard feat in Today’s society and why it’s so important to reconnect to your soul.

Why it is not safe as some of the experts are pushing today to ‘ force’ yourself to do anything, rather you have to trust your intuition and we break down how to do just that.

How to stop manipulating yourself into settling, because it only leads to long term pain and hard lessons.

How to become truly inspired without losing yourself and so much more.

The blogzine has over 15 articles, beautifully curated so that they flow into each other in a fun way and takes you on a journey of casual yet super insightful self discovery!

What is Really Stopping Your Flow ( It is not FEAR)!

 Today we are talking about the thing that has the true power to completely derail your success and leave you in a corner of the kitchen floor, ugly crying while you day drink, and no I’m not talking about fear.

This emotion is one that many know of it’s power, but it is rarely brought up as one of the BIG emotions that if fed regularly can turn into a real monster making it super hard to resolve and conquer!

I’m talking about one of the most insidious, sneaky and long lasting emotions you have within you!

I’m talking about doubt, more specifically- self- doubt (When you question your own ability to achieve / do something).

So yes, we talk a great deal about resolving or even overcoming fear, including the fear of failing and the fear of success, and while it is very true that fear is one of the most triggering emotions when we have decided to pursue our dreams and goals, self- doubt wields a much darker power!

We rarely talk about the power of self doubt and the effects it has, even as it is the thing that more often than not, is what is stalling us from getting what we want.

So let’s talk about it.

Doubt manifests in various ways, superbly triggering your mental blocks around a desired outcome. It is sneaky foe which never fights alone, since it also triggers fear and a host of other potentially overpowering emotions!

It is a sneaky foe which never fights alone, since it also triggers fear and a host of other potentially overpowering emotions!

The many forms of self – doubt are as follows:


This occurs when you really want a desired outcome, and you have been thinking about it a lot, however, you become aware of this tight feeling around your head and heart when you think about it, which then triggers worry and anxiety within your body.

This resistance causes you to start rethinking the likelihood of you being triumphant and you begin to lose faith and hope in the actuality of your success.

Your heart quickens but the emotion is not one you can get behind and it leaves you feeling tired and drained- doubtful!

Doubt also manifests as limiting beliefs and become even stronger the more you give into them, instead of challenging them and allowing yourself to be guided with conviction towards your success after realising what these limiting thoughts are actually trying to communicate with you.


If you have decided that the outcome you desire is not one that easily fits within your scope of reality and the rules that govern your life, then it will be difficult to buy in and believe in it.

The goal may seem so huge and impossible for you that the only way you can see it happening for you is if a cosmic deity came down and gave you the power of a genie. And while the way may be impossible, the result is not- maybe others have achieved that result, but you are unsure if you can as well.
My best example- I want to fly through the air. The Wright brothers made that a possibility by creating the first airplane; not exactly flapping your wings like a bird but it works. Same thing with the Helicopter!


Fear is not always just fear; sometimes it is a manifestation of deep seated doubt and lack of both confidence and faith in what you are doing.

It is triggered especially when you give yourself a deadline in which you should start experiencing a certain level of progress and you do not.
It occurs every time you ‘fail’ or make a mistake or simply when nothing is happening.

This then leads to frustration, overwhelm and stress.

You begin to fear that you will never see the desired outcome, that maybe this whole thing was a fool’s dream and a waste of time….and as the time comes closer, the fear that you are not enough and have messed up somewhere becomes even stronger. You doubt your ability and your results.

Here’s the thing, the bigger the desire for the outcome of the goal, the easier it is to doubt that it will come through.

The more you doubt the possibility of the outcome the more you trigger your limiting beliefs and the harder it is to see them as things to challenge and not prophecies of your inevitable failure.

Doubt has the power if you let it to derail you completely, it is insidious and subtle, but the effects are long lasting.

In fact when you think about your limiting beliefs you can actually trace them to the triggering emotion that is self-doubt.

So how do we get over our doubt and actually do what we need to?
First and foremost you have to identify the specific thing that is triggering your doubt around this goal and your own abilities and resources.

Fear is an easier emotion to resolve because once you face your fears they tend to be easily resolved, however doubt is not so easily dealt with.

Doubt is rooted in possibility and it is super easy to assign meaning to your outcomes, thereby feeding your doubt until you no longer believe in success and eventually give up.

So when you think of your goal, journal out what is causing you to doubt yourself and the possibility of what you desire.

Can this thing be mitigated?
Is there something you can do alleviate or resolve this thing?
Is this thing ultimately true?


Goal: I want to buy my first home in 2 months!
Doubt: But how the hell am I going to do this? I am not making nearly enough to buy my home. I am trying to find new ways to make money. It is going to be so hard to do this!

Doubt Trigger: Knowledge of not having enough money. Belief that the house hunting process will be stressful and the deadline impossible.
What can be done: I can figure out how to make the money I think I need.
I can research just how the process of buying a home actually works.

I can also rewire my mindset around the possibility of me achieving this ‘hard’ goal.

I can break this goal into smaller more actionable goals.

I know what I want and I release it to the Universe to guide me to my inevitable success!

Reframing Trigger: Right now I do not have the required money to buy my dream home and I feel like that will add to the stress of this experience, but I know that I will make the money and I know that I can have what I desire.

Here’s the funny thing, depending on how strong your self-doubt is, there is a chance that some of the practical work can all lead to even more doubt, because while they will fill you with more information and help you make an informed decision, they do nothing to actually address the growing feeling of doubt that you can do this permanently.

 For that you need conviction. You need to genuinely believe that you WILL have what you need and asked for.

Ultimately, doubt is combated by, faith and the strong belief (conviction) that no matter what, you will achieve your goals.

It is the combated by faith so strong that even as nothing happens in the final dwindling seconds, you still know that it will happen.

It is combated by knowing that you did do all that you were able to and now the rest is left in the hands of your God/ Universe.

While doubt is not rooted in logic- even though it will use it against you- it is in fact rooted deeply with your own range of possibility and believability and that is why when you feed it by compounding your limiting beliefs, you open the door for things to take a very long time to go your way.

When you doubt yourself, you are calling into question the validity of your desires, and assigning unnecessary meaning to them if they do not happen right away. You are feeding the self fulfilling prophecy of failure.

Ultimately to receive what you want quickly and easily, you will have to let it all go and allow the Universe/ God to guide you through your journey.

What I mean is that you need to become an energetic match for the thing you truly want and feed that positive and happiness inducing feeling, while not hyper focusing on the stressors swirling around the goal like sharks.

This world of energy works with whatever kind of highly emotionally fueled energy you are expressing and expending in the world.

This energy then colours your beliefs and your actions which impacts your ability to amass the kind of abundance you naturally can.

If you have ever wondered how others have been getting ahead and getting all the things they want seemingly so easily and with so little stress and pressure, while you feel as if you have to climb several mountains- and you hate climbing – just to be in the vicinity of success, then yes, it is time for a mindset and energetic emotional rewiring.

Let’s start now:
Envision the outcome of the goal you desire and lean into the feelings surrounding your mind and body at those celebratory thoughts come to and flow through you.

This is key- what are you feeling in your body? Hold on to that happy feeling and now set out to feed it.

Set out with the intention of nurturing and nourishing that happy feeling, so that it becomes your default.

Will this be easy? No. Most of our defaults are set to stress and doubt things and it is hard to let go of bad habits like that, but thankfully not impossible.

When it comes to the goal, set a to-do list of all the things you can do, that are within your control and do them- assign no meaning to any of the outcomes, just do your part!

All others release, they are out of your control and therefore are not up to you to happen.
Check in with yourself daily to see where you are emotionally and mentally and work to suit.

Be vigilant not to give into worry around the outcome of the goal; instead choose often to believe that your goal is not only possible but is coming closer to accomplishment every day.

Delete the deadline if that is a source of stress- as we tend to assign so much meaning to a deadline that it does not need. It is a neutral thing and means neither anything good or bad.

Spend time thinking daily thinking about your desired outcome and how you will feel- like 3 minutes a day- every day until it seems impossible for it to NOT happen.

Listen to that small yet urgent voice in your body that whispers to your mind- that is your intuition and it will tell you the aligned actions to take- you’ll know that it is your intuition because it will feel like that celebratory feeling in your chest and body.

Take those actions immediately and continue to enjoy life.
Release the goal and the significance of it, because you know it will happen and continue to feed that energy by filling your life with the things, experiences and people who trigger that happily accomplished feeling.

Now, will some of the things you have to do in the beginning be hard? You bet your ass they will be.

Will it be hard to just believe and have faith? Oh yeah. This is new and change is always hard, but it will get easier.

Could there be sleepless nights and feelings of wanting to give up? Will there be residual limiting beliefs and feelings of failure and all the consequences that come with it?

Once again- helllll yessss.

Many of us have not been feeding our inner happy selves; instead we have been looking for all the ways we are fucking up and can’t have what we truly want.

We are all caught up in settling and even as you desire for more and know you can have it, it will be a serious battle to change your default.

Your subconscious will set out to self sabotage until you genuinely believe that you WILL HAVE what you want.

If it does not believe you, then you do not believe you.

This exercise is about reconnecting to yourself and actually detoxing your energy, while rewiring your mindset on what is possible for you when you simply decide and know that the world is working to make your success happen for you.

You have to believe it, want it and take the aligned actions.

You have to also know that you are not working on it alone and it will happen.You can’t force it; you simply have to trust and belief in yourself, your faith and in your Universe.

I know we talk about doubt in a very linear way, as if, if you just do this one thing it’ll be ok and doubt will be banished into the ether, but the truth is that you have to work on your doubt daily, which means you have to work on fueling up your happiness meter daily and starving doubt.

Understanding how you actually learn to believe in things and what you actually expect to happen around your goal and in the reality of your life are both things that also impact how successful you will be in the end.

For me it was not enough to just know these things.
When I was in the thick of it, about to be suffocated by the feelings of being stuck at the level I was at- broke and trying desperately to believe that this was only a temporary thing, which was hard AF because it felt as if I was broke for YEARS.

When I felt my world limiting to just me, the computer and my new BFF called ‘Desperation’, I can tell you that I truly doubted that I would ever truly get anything more than the little hope I had now.

So I coached my hope in the desperation to keep it safe, thinking it was safe to use desperation to drive myself to believing I could do it. And when I failed yet again, I almost extinguished my hope altogether.

When finally gathered my courage to embark on a new goal, I felt myself going back to my defaults- feeling my doubt intensify around that goal like a bee hive following their Queen-bee.

I’ll be honest, it felt insane to not focus on the issues, to not focus on the very challenging problems that surrounded my goal, after all if I didn’t focus on them then how would I resolve them?

It made zero sense to just ‘release them’ and to focus on making myself feel better…yet, the more I enjoyed the different areas of my life and filled them with happiness and contentment daily, the more I envisioned the happy outcome of my goal, the easier it was to let go of the hurdles, the more I started to believe that my desired outcome was something inevitable.

I started to expect it all to work out easily; I started to believe not only in myself, but also in my ability to continue to nurture a happy life.

I had to start living that happy life where I was right now, rather than hinge my outcome on any prerequisite, and when I got triggered- which was A LOT in the beginning, I had to face it, resolve them and decide what I wanted to continue to feed into.

I started to learn how I believe in things- my process from thinking to believing and expecting.

I started to learn what true success and happiness meant for me.

I started to trust myself and in my ability to enjoy my life and have whatever I allowed myself to have.

And slowly as I gained momentum, the thing that seemed so freaking impossible, became something that I just expected to happen and it did.

It was not an easy road to releasing my old habits and creating new ones, no matter how amazing they were, but I did it and I know you will too!