How I learnt to Let Life be Easy

Can I really have what I want in this life and can it be easy?

This was the question I struggled with for years upon years and most often than not, the answer I came up with was a resounding ‘no’.

I was taught hardwork, struggling and paying dues were all the benchmarks I had to go though repeatedly, before I could see any hint of success.

I was taught to wait for the inevitable shoe to drop, if anything good ever happened to me and without truly noticing it, this was the way I started to live my entire life.

I started to mistrust people who were kind, friendly and seemed generally good natured, because it reminded me of how I used to be and made me upset that I was no longer that person, but I couldn’t be that person, because all the lessons I’ve learnt ( and learnt well) yelled at me that I had to be guarded, I had to people please, I had to hide  who I was and look to other successful people to show me what my life should look like, what my thoughts should be and what I was allowed to achieve.

Now here’s the thing, you simply cannot have this mindset when you’re looking to do great things. I’m a naturally empathetic person and something ALWAYS felt wrong about this lifestyle, but damn if I could put my finger on what exactly it was.

So years go by and my intuition,- that whispering guardian angel that lives within me- that I would occasionally listen to every now and again, started pestering me and pestering me. It was sick of seeing me settle, sick of seeing me lose confidence and looking for a semblance of affection in the wrong people.

It was tired of me adding unnecessary burdens to my heart, tired of feeling my pain over and over again, tired of me basing my dwindling happiness on beliefs that were designed to drain it.

 So it finally rose up and got my attention.

And one day, after the weeks following a tremendous health scare that I was being treated for, my defenses were down. I was for the first time in a long time, also fed up of the pain, the betrayals and feeling as if I had let myself down.

That’s when I felt the intuitive nudge; taking it as a sign from God that I simply could no longer ignore, I allowed the message to flow into me. It told me there was no need for struggle, no need to burn myself out, no need to make everything complicated.

It explained no one was impressed by any of this.

And I wanted to believe in it so bad, but old habits die really freaking hard and I felt my mind erupt into a civil war. One side preaching that life was always supposed to be joyous and beautiful, the other saying that if it isn’t hard and complicated how will I learn to appreciate it?

Turns out I was not ready for my life to be easy, I wasn’t ready to release my teachings no matter how wrong they felt. I wasn’t ready for my life to be so aligned I could have everything and anything I wanted.

I was fighting tooth and nail for my limitations.

Mind you, I tested the theory a few times and it worked beautifully each time, but it was not enough for me to rehab the 3 decades strong fear addiction. And when that truly hit me- that not only was I choosing to feel crappy and complicate my life, but I was doing so because i was so driven by fear and the need to struggle, I made a real decision to get to the bottom of this need and reprogram my mind.

It was time for me to allow my life to flow. I had seen the evidence for myself. I bought my car cash, I rented  a condo for super cheap and it was in a great natural area, I was in fact never actually short on money, I always got what I wanted even if I didn’t buy it and the coup de grace, I was loved unconditionally by awesome humans!

So when it really sunk in that my life wanted to be easy, that it wanted to be successful and there was no need to stress and struggle, only to listen, align and do.

I finally started to allow things to flow. I finally moved things out of my way and reconnected with my inner being and that rare feeling of harmony and trust.

Life became so easy , I almost started to doubt its longevity again, because the last thing to leave me was the idea that good things could run out and I’d be left holding the proverbial bag. Funny how I never thought bad things could come to an end…

So I went to mindset rehab and I came out so much better for it. It’s a daily effort to reprogram my mind ( 30 years of habits do not change in a week) and each day I get stronger, more confident, more aligned and life is something I want to actively engage in again.

One of the resources I used when I was going through this period was the Level UP Journal Prompter. This book is filled with journal prompts, exercises and insights that I personally used to challenge myself into changing old teachings for new intuitive ones.

It’s easy to say I want better for myself, but as I learnt, it’s not so easy to walk the walk and release the bad habits to receive abundance. Hope and Faith are hard because of those same teachings, but it’s not impossible.

I know you’re ready to do more, to drop the effing struggle and let life actually flow in harmony as it needs to be. I know you’re over feeling as if you have to climb that oil slicked ladder, getting nowhere fast.

Use the book, go through the 9 chapters and allow yourself to expand, to grow and step into the awesome power that is your birthright. Add to your reading list now.


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What mood should you be in to break up?

In this episode, Ashlee is delving into the world of break ups and questioning when is the right time to break up and what is the best mood to actually cut the cord. Should you do it impulsively or should you do it when you’ve really given it a thorough think through? Warning: There may be cussing.



Up next, shop our Release Fear, Embrace Life book

Forget your problems, focus on your goals

Should we be so hyper focused on problem solving? Should we forget the problems and re-focus on the goal we are out to achieve in the first place and find a new path towards achieving it? Ashlee talks more about realizing why she needs to truly focus on what she is giving her attention to and how it’s going to change your world. Warning: There may be cussing.



Up next, shop our Success for the Stressed Goal-Getter

Panicking or Precaution: What Recent Events Taught Me

Ashlee talks about the abrupt death of her dad, what she’s learning as the world battles Coronoavirus and what she’s decided on for her future. Warning: There may be cussing.

Listen to the full and honest audio below.


Riffing with Ashlee Episode

Up next, shop The Level Up Journal Prompter

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Why it’s so hard to keep the attitude of gratitude momentum going

Ashlee talks about the ugly truth behind the attitude of gratitude mindset and why it does not bring abundance.  She also breaks down why this one thing is causing more stress and drama in your life, rather than making it miraculously easier. Warning: There may be cussing.



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Ashlee talks how to let happiness in

Ashlee talks about her concept of happiness, how to stop depriving yourself of happiness and how to stop forcing the stars to align. She breaks down why she felt happiness needed prerequisites and why she is over that way of thinking and releasing envy and comparison. Warning: There may be cussing.



Up next, shop our Level Up Journal Prompter

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Ashlee talks Happiness and the March Mindset Challenge

In our first Riffing with Ashlee conversation Ashlee talks about her decision to raise her energy to a much higher and positive frequency, as well as how this month is the beginning of a very personal, mindset challenge that she’s ready to share with everyone who wants more prosperity, abundance and insight into their lives.

She also talks about upcoming plans for the blog!

Listen to the full and honest audio below.


Riffing with Ashlee Episode 1

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How to Stop Depriving Yourself of Happiness

I used to believe that one of the reasons I was not ‘happy’ was because I did not know what would make me actually happy.

I knew of all the things that would make me feel sad, disappointed, angry and stressed out. Those things I could rattle off like an expert when asked or slip them into any conversation surrounding the ‘What I do not want in my life’ list.

Yet, for all that I knew with pinpoint laser clarity what I did NOT want in my life, I had no idea what I truly did.

I was still unsure about how and what I wanted to spend my days, I was unsure of what would really give me pleasure, make me smile and just give me that boost of joyousness those High vibe people were talking about over the internet.

Then I realised with a start one day, as I caught myself actively dismissing something that would have actually made me feel better, that it was not that I did not know what made me smile, or made me happy… it was that I was actively burying them and choosing to not take action towards doing the things that invoked those happy feelings.

For me and when I asked, a lot more people, it seemed as if  the concept of ‘Happiness‘ was easier to deal with if we allowed it to be a pipe-dream. If we convinced ourselves that happiness was conditional, then when things got rough, we could use this emotion as a cop out and something to day dream about .

To say, ‘this sucks because I’m not happy. I just want to be happy,” even as we know full well we’re not going to truly put in the effort to actually put true happiness into our lives.

Happiness is not a one-off kind of thing, it’s a state of being and it does not negate other emotions. You can be living a very happy life and still get upset or angry about things – trivial or otherwise…, the real difference is your mindset.


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what awaits you:

What genuinely happy people know and do.

Seven (7) key things you learnt when you were younger that are actively blocking you from receiving joy and happiness easily and simply into your life.

Ashlee breaks down how to stop depriving yourself of happiness daily and embrace it instead.

The shocking and neccessary role your intuition plays in this process.

The existential questions that keep you small

How to move forward from your well learnt limiting beliefs, so you can achieve your goals, your way.


The day I let go of my safety line and dove deep

I remember the first time I did something I was afraid to do and was still afraid of even as I did it. I remember the first time I jumped into the deep end into cold uncharted waters, on purpose.

It was one of the first swimming lessons I had as a teen and I remember being super excited and at the same time scared of the unknown because I was very new to swimming in general.

I, like most islanders love the sea and love to frolic in the turquoise waters however, we never venture further than where our feet could firmly be planted on the shifting sands, because  ironically most of us can’t swim, or  at least swim  well.

So there I was with my class-mates who had all signed up for swimming as our P.E elective. I was one of the shorter ones in the group and while I loved and was drawn to the cold, beautifully blue, pool water my anxiety sky rocketed when our Coach marched us straight past the kiddie pool- my comfort zone- and over to the ‘Adult pool’ as we had christened the Olympic sized, competitive pool.

And I thought I was going to throw up, when she lined us all up at the deepest end of the pool and grabbed a long pole with a hook at the end, looking at us with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. I tried to listen to her instructions, but my heart was beating way too loudly when I heard her explain that we would be jumping into the deep waters of the pool, one by one and touching the floor of the pool.

She told us that it would be safe and would help us to get more comfortable in the water. I heard her words, but really I was overcome by my own brain screaming at me to turn tail and run away.

I stayed. I stayed and watched as one after the other, my class mates jumped into the water. I watched as they became submerged blurs and then popped back up, only to be scooped to safety by our Coach, or guided to the stairs.

All too soon it was my turn. I was the last. Dammit.

So I walked to the edge of the pool, feeling my poor heart try to lurch away from the sure danger that was me about to jump into the deep end of this water, knowing I couldn’t even thread water, even as I knew I had a safety line.

And then I was jumping.

My heart frozen by my brazen actions and then I was submerged by the cold water.  And I could not touch the bottom. We all held onto the hook of the pole as we got into the water, and in that moment, when I realized that I was too short to touch the bottom, and that the water was pushing me back up, I made an executive decision.

I let go of the hook- my one safety line- and pushed myself to the bottom of the pool. Touched the tiles and then jumped to get to the hook again.

In that moment of snap decision, it was no longer about my fear; it was about proving to myself that I could do this thing. It was showing myself that I was safe, that my trust in myself and my coach was not unfounded. It was to show myself that I could follow through.

My coach was impressed by my determination, if a bit scared by my decision.

And I felt lighter than I had ever felt in a really long time in my young life. I felt buoyant and I felt fearless but mostly, I felt inspired.

There have been many times since that clear and defining moment in my life, where I felt again like I was on the precipice of jumping into the deep end. And I have not always been ready for it, because I what I knew about what would happen if I did.

I knew that jumping in meant change. It meant that no matter what happened, good or bad, I would no longer be the same person I was at the moment just before I jumped.

I hesitated a lot, because I could see the waters, be them still and deep or, rolling with waves, I knew that once I jumped in, I would have to make a decisions about my survival, and I would have to take action to live and in doing this, I would have to grow, I would have to be better and I would have to make it all the way to the other side no matter what.

So sometimes I stay on the precipice and just look at the water beneath me. I allow the fear to grip me, to hold me and encourage me to rethink my life decisions. I stay looking at the water and fearing all that it would mean, because I’m afraid to take that next step, life line or no.

And in those moments, where I feel trapped, stuck and paralyzed, I force myself to remember the times that I was brave enough to let go of the safely line and achieve my goal, even though it was my first time in the deep end and I remember that I survived it all.  I remember that in those moments of calm and trust that I would not only survive, but I’d blossom and it would be ok.

It would be ok, to allow myself that change, that metamorphosis and as sacred of the plunge and all that it would mean, I would be free.

And it’s enough to challenge my initial fear, enough for me to assess my own self- trust levels, my own belief that I have done enough due diligence to make sure it is safe to jump…enough to take a deep breath and dive right in!

What about you?

Do you have those moments where you are afraid to dive into a new idea, a new goal, a decision that will impact you way of life?

Do you remember anytime in your life where you were brave enough to dive in and fierce enough to decide that no matter what you’d survive, that you’d flourish?


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Sometimes It All Sucks & It’s Ok

Sometimes, all you feel to do is cry, and rage and scream and the urge is so strong, it takes over your whole body!

Sometimes you want to curl up on the kitchen floor and drown your sorrows in your fave alcohol or in your fave comfort foods.

Sometimes positive platitudes are enough to make you  want to commit acts of violence and there is no real reason why…

Sometimes my Luvs, you are simply human-

…Human in a world that seems to delight in chewing you up and spitting you out….slowly.

A world that others keep telling you, you have the power to control, but every experience that pops into your head reinforces that this control is true for other people. Never you.

You’re the one who just cannot catch a freaking break, you’re the one who seems to have committed some terrible crime in a past life. You’re the one that keeps being kicked down, again and again.

So what are you supposed to do?

What do you do?

The latest motivational/ inspirational  post you probably read told you to not give up!

It most likely encouraged you to persevere and to not let these feelings take control of you. It probably reminded you that you should be grateful for all you have, because there are others with so much less and it tried to motivate you to believe in yourself and to just keep on going.

And you probably looked at that post and wondered what kind of happily ever after hippie person wrote that ish.

Persevere? Haven’t you been doing that ish for like forever?

When is the change supposed to happen anyway?

When is it YOUR time to shine, have all the things and feel better about your life?

When is it your time to be abundant, to feel as if you are in control of your life and time and finances?

What exactly are you doing so wrong that these others seemed to have perfected?

Because right now, in this moment, you are seconds away from flinging your hands up, and caving to defeat.

And it will not be pretty.

You are seconds away from screaming at the fury and angst that has been building up within you but worse of all, you are moments away from settling into your surrender.

Moments away from deciding that all your naysayers were right and your end goals are silly, too big or just not for you. You may be one final push away from thinking you are a failure and that you are neither good enough nor worthy enough and that is why you keep on failing…

And really, all you want to know is ‘How do I make this better? How do I make me better?’

If no one else knows how you are feeling right now, I freakin do.

I know the days of watching others get the attention, praise, money and validation for their ‘bravery’, talents and  dedication.

I know the headaches, backaches and restless sleep of wracking your brain trying to figure out what you need to do, that you’re STILL clearly not doing, because no matter what, you’re not the one getting those amazing results.

And I know how easy it is to straight up start blocking those positive a-holes who keep sprouting rainbow-like possibilities from their posts.

Seriously, EFF them, -even though you are also reading their posts and secretly wishing it was all as easily doable as they made it seem for you too.

All I can say to you, my friend, is that this is normal and natural. 

Of course you’re going to feel frustrated and stressed out when you’re trying to shape your life into someone else’s image.

Of course your life is going to feel empty, if you’re focusing on your problems and what is lacking in your life, rather than what is enriching it.

Of course you’re not going to be sure what you deep down want, because you’ve been actively running, fighting and burying those intuitive nudges so deep down in your psyche, that now that you’re ready for them to guide you, you no longer recognize your own voice.

And of course you’re going to be seeking comfort when you’ve been trying to prove that you are worthy, prove that you can make those important in your life happy and be what you think they need you to be, even at the detriment of actually being and living your life as yourself…

So yes, all of these feelings, emotions and resulting frustrating situations are all normal when you are actively living a life that is not at all in alignment with your true self or purpose.

So again, what to do?

First, we let it all out!

Rage around!  Let the pain and frustration out.

Scream!

Find a sport that allows you to HIT something or exert yourself.

Lift weights and do cardio exercises.

Rage Journal!

Let it all out, exhaust your emotions and let yourself release it all, so that you can come back with a leveled, less pent up brain and then, only then, refocus.

Refocus on your ULTIMATE goals, the ones that are constantly in your mind and makes you so happy and excited that your freaking heart skips a beat while thinking about them.

This gets easier, the more you reconnect to WHO you are and what you need in your life to make you feel so much better consistently!

Release all the ‘I did this already’ and the ‘I can’ts’ and the ‘I ‘m just so freakin done with this’ and ‘what will people think…’ and ‘what if..?’

Screw it all.

Release the rage; refocus on your goal, de-stress by doing something fun and let yourself recover.

Tomorrow, or even later- depends on how fast you listen to your intuition-, you will find the path you need to.

When it’s time, you will be able to recommit and know that it is safe to go after what you truly desire. In time you will learn that sometimes it all sucks and it’s not a bad thing.

You’ll learn from your mistakes and come out so much stronger, wiser and patient from it all.

It is safe to feel it all and to react and to respond and to take a moment and to come right back with an improved strategy.


Up next, shop our self-help book Level Up Journal Prompter

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This support will help to offset the costs of this ad-free site and keep it available to everyone. Thank you so much!