How I learnt to Let Life be Easy

Can I really have what I want in this life and can it be easy?

This was the question I struggled with for years upon years and most often than not, the answer I came up with was a resounding ‘no’.

I was taught hardwork, struggling and paying dues were all the benchmarks I had to go though repeatedly, before I could see any hint of success.

I was taught to wait for the inevitable shoe to drop, if anything good ever happened to me and without truly noticing it, this was the way I started to live my entire life.

I started to mistrust people who were kind, friendly and seemed generally good natured, because it reminded me of how I used to be and made me upset that I was no longer that person, but I couldn’t be that person, because all the lessons I’ve learnt ( and learnt well) yelled at me that I had to be guarded, I had to people please, I had to hide  who I was and look to other successful people to show me what my life should look like, what my thoughts should be and what I was allowed to achieve.

Now here’s the thing, you simply cannot have this mindset when you’re looking to do great things. I’m a naturally empathetic person and something ALWAYS felt wrong about this lifestyle, but damn if I could put my finger on what exactly it was.

So years go by and my intuition,- that whispering guardian angel that lives within me- that I would occasionally listen to every now and again, started pestering me and pestering me. It was sick of seeing me settle, sick of seeing me lose confidence and looking for a semblance of affection in the wrong people.

It was tired of me adding unnecessary burdens to my heart, tired of feeling my pain over and over again, tired of me basing my dwindling happiness on beliefs that were designed to drain it.

 So it finally rose up and got my attention.

And one day, after the weeks following a tremendous health scare that I was being treated for, my defenses were down. I was for the first time in a long time, also fed up of the pain, the betrayals and feeling as if I had let myself down.

That’s when I felt the intuitive nudge; taking it as a sign from God that I simply could no longer ignore, I allowed the message to flow into me. It told me there was no need for struggle, no need to burn myself out, no need to make everything complicated.

It explained no one was impressed by any of this.

And I wanted to believe in it so bad, but old habits die really freaking hard and I felt my mind erupt into a civil war. One side preaching that life was always supposed to be joyous and beautiful, the other saying that if it isn’t hard and complicated how will I learn to appreciate it?

Turns out I was not ready for my life to be easy, I wasn’t ready to release my teachings no matter how wrong they felt. I wasn’t ready for my life to be so aligned I could have everything and anything I wanted.

I was fighting tooth and nail for my limitations.

Mind you, I tested the theory a few times and it worked beautifully each time, but it was not enough for me to rehab the 3 decades strong fear addiction. And when that truly hit me- that not only was I choosing to feel crappy and complicate my life, but I was doing so because i was so driven by fear and the need to struggle, I made a real decision to get to the bottom of this need and reprogram my mind.

It was time for me to allow my life to flow. I had seen the evidence for myself. I bought my car cash, I rented  a condo for super cheap and it was in a great natural area, I was in fact never actually short on money, I always got what I wanted even if I didn’t buy it and the coup de grace, I was loved unconditionally by awesome humans!

So when it really sunk in that my life wanted to be easy, that it wanted to be successful and there was no need to stress and struggle, only to listen, align and do.

I finally started to allow things to flow. I finally moved things out of my way and reconnected with my inner being and that rare feeling of harmony and trust.

Life became so easy , I almost started to doubt its longevity again, because the last thing to leave me was the idea that good things could run out and I’d be left holding the proverbial bag. Funny how I never thought bad things could come to an end…

So I went to mindset rehab and I came out so much better for it. It’s a daily effort to reprogram my mind ( 30 years of habits do not change in a week) and each day I get stronger, more confident, more aligned and life is something I want to actively engage in again.

One of the resources I used when I was going through this period was the Level UP Journal Prompter. This book is filled with journal prompts, exercises and insights that I personally used to challenge myself into changing old teachings for new intuitive ones.

It’s easy to say I want better for myself, but as I learnt, it’s not so easy to walk the walk and release the bad habits to receive abundance. Hope and Faith are hard because of those same teachings, but it’s not impossible.

I know you’re ready to do more, to drop the effing struggle and let life actually flow in harmony as it needs to be. I know you’re over feeling as if you have to climb that oil slicked ladder, getting nowhere fast.

Use the book, go through the 9 chapters and allow yourself to expand, to grow and step into the awesome power that is your birthright. Add to your reading list now.

The Transformation- The First Step vs Your 100th.

Inspiration can sneak up and hit you over the head from just about anywhere at any time. Same thing with epiphanies and this week, I got a healthy dose of both, while watching a show on the E Network.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking, what could she possibly have been watching?

Well, it was Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian. Yes, I love that show and I’ll tell you why, as you read on.

For one, the show, especially this season, has a focus on not just the goal of weight loss, but on the wholistic journey of lifestyle change the individual is undertaking and it really shows how serious deciding to commit to the process and journey is as a continuing to grow person.

When these participants come onto the show, they are not just there to lose weight, rather they are there for help in dealing with their own demons, asking for help from these professionals to see what they are really fighting with and help them to shed the chrysalis and emerge the beautiful butterfly they know they can be.

They are ready to not just work hard, but also find their rhythm again and I relate to that so much!

While the show focuses on workouts and meal plans, if you really tune into what the participants are sharing with you, you would hear just how much of a lifestyle change for the better they are going through.

And it is rough AF.

It is the arduous task of changing habits, of not running to your security blankets, it’s about mindset shifts, discipline and self love.

It’s not just doing an exercise, but committing to the entire process, and even as they cry and sweat and think long and hard about giving up, many of them don’t.

They make a decision to see it through, they make a decision to be honest with themselves and their trainers and you the viewer by the end of the episode see a person who has grown into their next level selves.

Exercise and diet require the mind to be present and for it to work just as hard as you do when you push those weights, when you do that cardio and when you eat the veggies.

If your mindset doesn’t allow you to adapt, then you simply won’t.

So there I am, on the bed, watching these people, make the courageous decision to not only get their lives together, but also do so in the public eye and all I can think is ‘wow, that first step is so freaking serious! They are so brave!”

If you never understood about mindset and why it’s so important, look no further than this show, no further than those who have decided to enhance their own lives and made changes to further its positivity.

It is not an easy process, afterall it took you a long time to create and validate those same bad habits that you’re trying to change and it will take you making conscious efforts to create new best serving habits and make those the familiar ones.

At the end of the episode, they show you just how much the person has grown. You see them barely able to do the first portion of the exercise compared to them at the 12 week mark, when they are breezing through the workout easily and ready to level up yet again.

You see a difference in their countenance, they are glowing, and they are PROUD of themselves. No magic wands, no magic pills, just the happiness they feel that they achieved their goal and realize that they are different in a very intangible way now, with only love and excitement going forward in their individual lives.

The you at the beginning of the journey is not the you at the one thousand step mark of that same journey.  At the beginning, we are hopeful, terrified, excited but also plagued with doubts and anxiety about what we can truly achieve.

At the one thousandth step, you’re more confident, you realize that while you may bend, you will not in fact break. You may want to run and hide and give up, but you inherently know that you won’t. You know the goal, the things you desire and while things will go awry and we can get distracted by fear, stress and naysayers, you are in a place where you can acknowledge that all can be used to strengthen you resolve instead of weakening it.

You recognize yourself for who you are, ‘the fighting dreamer’.

It is intense and absolutely crazy, but you know that it is something that you need to do. You start to learn what real discipline is, what real self-love and confidence is. You start to push your own boundaries without the fear of falling and not being able to get back up.

You learn that strength is about never falling, rather about getting back up and keep going.

And this is why it is so important to have a strong, inner circle who are there to unconditionally support you during this time in your life. The journey will be rough by its very definition and that is why having those who believe in you and will guide you towards seeing your dreams achieved is so vitally important. They keep you grounded, they keep you motivated and they call you out when you want to break and run.

They are your real MVP and they come in all shapes and forms, from family, friends, trainers, coaches etc. They are the ones who understand that while they do not get your vision, you do and that is enough for them to healthily support you as you literally change your life.

For me, as I watch these brave souls work on their bodies and by extension their lives and see their mindsets shift, I think of  how beautiful they are, how heroic and it inspires me to believe that everything I want is achievable.

I understand finally that I’m not stuck, or lost, instead I acknowledge that growth is not linear, and that I will bend, shake and want to cry, but my resolve will not break.

I will change, and open myself up to even more possibilities, and all I have to do is have faith that I am safe and secure as I continue to grow.

My journey is still ongoing and if I’m honest, the game that is my life will always have new, exciting and challenging missions, however, I will be ready to meet them all head on, because just like those participants on Revenge Body, I too am ready to shed my burdens and reveal to the world the real me that I almost lost track of.

I know that life is about love, joy and all the moments that added to them, as well as, allowing yourself room to grow, to be disciplined, to be committed and to stretch.

It’s about honoring your own commitment to yourself and not resorting to punishing yourself for your perceived failings of mistakes, but about patience, forgiveness and love.

So have I fully inspired you?

Are you ready to also shift your mindsets into that of a fighting dreamer?