The Secret Truth to Being Successful

It has been ingrained in me from a very young age that success in any form, comes from hard work.

This belief is what got me through my Common Entrance Examination when I was ten, got me to my high grades at the CXC level when I was fifteen and what saw me burn right out in college, only to fight for supremacy in University.

It is a concept that has also seen me through many days at my various jobs and even more so as a budding entrepreneur.

However, it is also a concept that I realized I grossly misinterpreted and drove too far, too deeply.

The concept of hard work suggests to me sweat, blood, tears and an unrelenting drive to achieve my goal.

 The flip side of that being, there is little room for fun, happiness, mistakes or patience, things I realized I needed for a healthy life.

It is a concept that I have grappled with for years because if I was not successful in something, then it meant I needed to work even harder, and had to make even more sacrifices, which always felt wrong but necessary.

Those sacrifices often times came in the form of spending time with loved ones, taking breaks, taking good care of my health and body and becoming even more of a workaholic whom had nothing to show for it.

It meant I had to do more, dig in my heels further, cut out all distractions and drive myself ever onward towards success.

Success meant hard work.

It’s only later in my life, late twenties really that I began to understand that hard work did not actually mean eye-strain, sleepless nights, fighting to work with people who did not want to work for me or sacrificing time with love ones .

 It did not mean self-punishment or being super unhealthy.

 In fact it turns out that hardwork meant having a new school of thought, where I needed to do less, which allowed me to have even more.

As an entrepreneur, I listened to many webinars on strategy, on building up my business and all the things that I absolutely had to have in place or guaranteed failure of my business, and I am here to say that all of that was absolutely wrong.

In life it’s not about having the right strategy, it’s not about working yourself to death and it is definitely not about robbing yourself of happiness. 

What it is about is fueling your high energy meter.

Psychologist, mindset coaches, spiritual healers and intuitive entrepreneurs all know the truth behind living your best life and being successful.

In short, they all know one secret truth:

If you focus on problems, you will reap even more problems, but if you focus on possibilities, then you will reap more opportunities.

If that’s true, then does doing less actually equal being more successful?

Now I’m not going to lie, when I first heard of this new school of thought, I scoffed and kept scoffing, but then I decided to just try it, as it wasn’t as if my spinning hamster impersonation was showing any results anyway.

So the first thing I did was to research this idea and that’s when Gabby Berstein popped up in my must watch list, around the time she was promoting her book, Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

While I have yet to read this book, I will admit that I was drawn in my Berstein’s interviews and articles regarding the idea of doing less busy work and indulging in intentional and intuitive work.

One such interview with Annie Tomlin caught my attention, in which Berstein was asked what a Super Attractor was, and she explained it was ‘someone whose primary focus is on feeling good’.

I was further intrigued, when Berstein, further explained, “When people make feeling good a priority, then they become a magnet for what they want.”

Turns out we are all already Super Attractors it’s just that we have forgotten and have fallen so deeply into fear, judgement and attack that the power is blocked from us.   

She notes, however, that to regain that power, all one has to do is recognize the ways your thoughts and belief systems work and how they’re making you feel, how they have disconnected you from attracting what you really want.

Seems easy enough but is it really?

I remember the first time I talked about my idea to do less and attract more how my mind rebelled against the idea because of my earlier training, but as I did more inner healing, I came to realize that I was afraid of actually being happy and feeling good, because in my mind those good feelings were fleeting, rather than long lasting.

And who could blame me, when societal landscape we live in today, it is almost expected to be addicted to fear, worry, attack and judgment.

“It’s so much easier to let your mind spin. It’s easier to worry, “What if this happens?” rather than having a default state of thinking everything is going to be fine. Fear is the default, because it’s what we’ve grown to rely on and believe. We build up that fear as a habit, but also as a false way of playing safe,” Berstein notes.

“I think that that the belief systems that we’ve picked up throughout our lives have programmed us to believe that we’re not good enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not worthy. These beliefs are from life experiences that traumatize and trigger us.

We take those thoughts and we rethink them. Those thoughts become belief systems, and those belief systems build up the world that we see. So at times, it seems safer to be in worry and fear, because that’s how we protect ourselves, but it’s obviously not protecting us at all,” she continues.

Sound familiar?

It did for me and it got me to thinking, what if I could change the way I think about the world and how to achieve what I wanted?

 What if I could just focus on enjoying what I was doing and consciously stop myself from indulging in worry?

After all, when you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing, it’s not work, it’s not stress, its fun and something you WANT to do!

It’s the same hardwork, but instead of feeling drained and stressed out because you’re achievement based, you get to feel elevated, happy and accomplished because you are now you centered.

And to me that’s a much better trade off.


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Level Up Your Life in 9 Steps

WTF Is reconnection and why does it matter?

Reconnection to self is when you allow yourself to admit and accept your truths, your vision and your power. It’s legit the process of befriending yourself on the mindset level,  so you know who you are, why you’re doing what you’re doing and finally step into your co-creator shoes confidently.

You can sense when you need to reconnect with yourself.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling: foggy brains, restless mind, unavailable for most things that would have brought you some semblance of real heart centered joy, not knowing what would make you feel happy.

It’s shoulder muscles so tense, they constantly touch your ears, it’s feeling your face scowl and frown, it’s headaches, tense jawlines and gritting of teeth.

It’s living in a state of ‘ life won’t be better’ that robs you of your joy.

Here’s the thing:

You know who you are. You know that you want to move far away from this state. You know you want to smile more; you want to laugh, to feel light in your body and safe in the unshakeable knowledge that everything will all turn out for the best in the end.

You want to feel pleasure and way, way less pain.

When you reconnect to yourself, you’ll start to see the world differently; it’s a slow progress that is nothing to shout about with how seamless and easy it will be.

You’ll only notice that you are unavailable to negative thoughts, toxic energy and have no interest in engaging with anything seeking to bring down your vibes.

For me, reconnection was the process of realizing I was living  not for the glory of having this life, but in the state of all things that were never-ending going wrong and using that as reasons to cut myself off from my sources of light.

I was not social, I always felt like I needed to be working ( even as I was frustratingly overwhelmed and stressed out by the business not making as it should), I used my lack of finances and the shame around it to stop myself from enjoying most things. The thought was I’ll enjoy all those things once I reached my goal.

I had lost sight of who I was as Ashlee Cox. I only saw many failures and gave into protecting myself from them at all costs.

Reconnecting with myself, challenged me to move away from that kind of famine, defeating mindset and allowed me to create a new self-fulfilling prophecy.

One that involved a happier, healthier and well rounded Ashlee.

An Ashlee that had allowed herself to grow, to pivot on prioritizing problems that only brought more of the same, to using that same energy to concentrate on her actual goals.

An Ashlee that recognized she didn’t have problems, just signs that she needed a new path to her goal and allowed herself to take them.

An Ashlee that leveled the F up!

And I did it with the help of the Level Up Journal Prompter.

The Level Up Journal Prompter is available right now.

This book with its nine chapters will take you on a journey of self discovery like no other resource can in this day.

Chapters: Reconnection, Limiting Beliefs and Triggers, Stories and Paradigms, Self love, Trust and Belief, Life skills, Goals and Validation, Energy and Manifesting, Support and Boundaries, You, Intuition and the Struggle, Next Level Self .

I researched and wrote these chapters, complete with journal prompts, and strategic homework when I had finally started to allow myself to be more, to receive more and I still use them to this day, when I want to level up again.

There is an energy of accelerated growth within these chapters and a feeling of intentional ease and crystal clear clarity.

You’re ready to grow, ready to move from a state where you attract problems, to one where you easily attract success.

Click here to elevate your life right now.


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What mood should you be in to break up?

In this episode, Ashlee is delving into the world of break ups and questioning when is the right time to break up and what is the best mood to actually cut the cord. Should you do it impulsively or should you do it when you’ve really given it a thorough think through? Warning: There may be cussing.



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How to Protect Your Energy During the Covid-19 Lockdown

Just last night , Acting Prime Minister of Barbados, the Hon. Santia Bradshaw, confirmed that the country now has 45 cases of the aggressive covid-19 virus, and that the Government has decided to implement additional measures under the Emergency Management Act, including the closing of banks, beaches and parks as well as the prohibition of alcohol sales, among other restrictions.

>> Download the Address and the additional measures below <<

For me, this comes just hours after witnessing the cremation of my Dad, who died of a heart attack last month. Needless to say, it is not an easy time in our household, but I’ve decided that rather than give into the creeping fear and growing panic, I prefer to look at all of this as a chance to protect my energy and stay centered.

Right now, with everything around the world seeming to be spiraling right out of control, where you are being encouraged to practice social distancing of at least 6 feet from everyone, to stay quarantined home, and to practice as many healthy hygiene habits as possible, this is a very deadly, yet oddly surreal time.

So if you’re with me and prefer not to give into the addictive siren call of fear, here are some things to do to protect your energy and keep your mind healthy as well as your physical space.

  1. Start the day without the phone. I wake up pretty early and have enforced the rule of not looking at my phone until at least 9 am, so that other people’s energy and vibes do not affect the way I begin my day. I’m considering enforcing this at the end of my day as well and possibly keeping the phone on airplane mode during the ‘off times’.
  2. Do start the day with positive affirmations. I’ve felt pretty ‘out of it’ these past few days, as huge lifestyle and emotional changes have been coming at me one after the other, and I’ve been trying to be mindful of how I’ve been perceiving them. And it has not been easy at all. What I find does help is to spend 10 minutes in quiet solitude, and by speaking positivity into existence around me. This helps to rewire fears and brings deeper understanding and healing.
  3. If I can, I host a dance party or I exercise in the morning. Turning up the music and moving is one of the best ways to shake off negativity and bring your endorphins up, while also boosting your mood.
  4. Make time for self care! Now is the time to be super mindful of your health in every aspect and to allow yourself time to rest, goof off and to clean your environment. Feeling clean, comfy and relaxed does untold wonders for your mood and overall health.
  5. I’ve limited my news intake to only important updates and actively cut myself off if I feel as if I’m spiraling. When that happens, I engage in activities that boost my moods.
  6. I have an amazing support system and I check in with them regularly. They not only ground me, but also respect my boundaries and it’s good to remember that other good and positive things ARE happening around your world.
  7. Just take a deep breath, hold it and then slowly exhale. Practicing breath work is important especially when dealing with situations that may trigger you. I’ve started practicing some techniques and it helps to clear out the fog in my head at times.
  8. Just allow yourself to decompress and just be. You do not have to be in constant motion, sometimes being quiet, still and introspective is a great medicine.
  9. I’ve always wanted to try to sage my home at the beginning of each month to ward off negative energy and I may do it this month.
  10. Get your REM sleep and eat your fruits and veggies and get your water fill. Physical health is super important right now and it’s not just about fighting to not catch the flu or Covid-19, it’s about staying healthy. Period.
  11. Know that there is only so much you can accomplish in a day, so do not over work yourself, but know that you do have free hours to goof off with. Be greedy with your time and practice self-love in all instances. This is a lesson I’m still learning, but it is defo coming along.
  12. Use social media to help add to your mood. Whether it is inspirational or motivational or even humorous posts, I’m there, because laughter and joy are important y’all!

How do you protect your energy? Share with us below in the comments


You made it to the end! Wooot!

Now come join me in the Ash Files, where we are talking, sharing and story-telling about this and other Ashlee Unscripted posts! Subscribe here.


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Forget your problems, focus on your goals

Should we be so hyper focused on problem solving? Should we forget the problems and re-focus on the goal we are out to achieve in the first place and find a new path towards achieving it? Ashlee talks more about realizing why she needs to truly focus on what she is giving her attention to and how it’s going to change your world. Warning: There may be cussing.



Up next, shop our Success for the Stressed Goal-Getter

Panicking or Precaution: What Recent Events Taught Me

Ashlee talks about the abrupt death of her dad, what she’s learning as the world battles Coronoavirus and what she’s decided on for her future. Warning: There may be cussing.

Listen to the full and honest audio below.


Riffing with Ashlee Episode

Up next, shop The Level Up Journal Prompter

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Why it’s so hard to keep the attitude of gratitude momentum going

Ashlee talks about the ugly truth behind the attitude of gratitude mindset and why it does not bring abundance.  She also breaks down why this one thing is causing more stress and drama in your life, rather than making it miraculously easier. Warning: There may be cussing.



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Ashlee talks how to let happiness in

Ashlee talks about her concept of happiness, how to stop depriving yourself of happiness and how to stop forcing the stars to align. She breaks down why she felt happiness needed prerequisites and why she is over that way of thinking and releasing envy and comparison. Warning: There may be cussing.



Up next, shop our Level Up Journal Prompter

Ashlee talks Happiness and the March Mindset Challenge

In our first Riffing with Ashlee conversation Ashlee talks about her decision to raise her energy to a much higher and positive frequency, as well as how this month is the beginning of a very personal, mindset challenge that she’s ready to share with everyone who wants more prosperity, abundance and insight into their lives.

She also talks about upcoming plans for the blog!

Listen to the full and honest audio below.


Riffing with Ashlee Episode 1

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The Real Reason I Started Seeking Pain

As much as it pains me to admit this, I realise that I have to… Freud was right the entire time.

For those who may already know my issues with this legendary psychologist, I’m sure you read that last line in total shock-, trust me, it was just as shocking for me to write it-, yet fair is fair and I have to give the man his rightful due.

Freud as it turns out understood basic human nature and mindset more than I did- no shock there, but as I write this post, I think I finally get where he was actually coming from now.

It’s Monday and I’m sitting in the TV Room, on the long couch next to the window, basking in the warm sunlight and the light. chilly breeze that’s swirling inside.

It’s a quiet day, the sun is high in the sky, the clouds are wisps in the ocean blue sky and honestly if this is not the kind of day that sparks inner reflection, I do not know what is.

Oh and the electricity is off, because of some generator failure Islandwide and I’m using the last of my laptop power to type this up.

It’s off and I now understand what a ‘lazy day’ feels like. Outside in the dining room, my parents are loudly and randomly going over potential cake recipes and the price to make them.

My kindle gave up the ghost on me and I, with great reluctance turned on this laptop to write because as I recline on this couch, staring at the sky and feeling lethargy creep up on me, I realized that when it came to money, wealth, my own journey in entrepreneurship, the way I’ve been thinking before and the way that my intuition wants me to be thinking now, all comes back to freaking Sigmund Freud.

Yeah, that spurred me to open up a word doc and start typing.

So here it is: Freud was right in the most basic of thoughts -> Man seeks pleasure and avoids pain.

I’ve known that ideology for years thanks to my Psychology background and my stint with online coaches, and yet today, on a warm, lazy, no distractions Monday morning, I freaking finally get it.

I have been struggling with a variety of things, specifically what are the things that come to me in this world, simply because I exist.

For instance, for me to exist and live in this world, I have to be provided with a variety of things, including, water, oxygen, food, clothes and a safe dwelling.

Those things are non-negotiable and to be honest are things I just expected to be there all my life and they have been.

Have you ever noticed that?

That these are just things that you expect in life, that these are just some of the things that you don’t have to think about getting? As you exist, they must be provided for you, even if you don’t know how or where they will come from?

It’s supposed to be the same with health, wealth, love and happiness.

Yet,  you may argue that this is not the case and even I felt for a long time that in order to have these things in abundance, then I needed to find strategies, I needed to do more than simply exist.

Somewhere down the line between being a toddler to adulthood, I stopped seeking pleasure because I was sure it would come with pain and my mindset shifted and developed differently because of that.

Health instead of being about loving my body, mind and spirit, became about looking attractive to others and weight lost.

Wealth instead of being a byproduct of my own passions coming to fruition, became about not having money, trying to find money, settling for what I can get and ignoring my passions.

Love instead of being a lifestyle became a thing that was used to manipulate and cause pain.

Happiness instead of being a state of mind, became a pipe dream that was based on what I had, rather than who I was and my energy.

So yeah, all of these things began to cause more pain than pleasure, even as they were created to provide pleasure, and so I started to avoid them in the states I believed they existed in.

For weeks, and months I have been going through a lot of shifts, in which I have been reclaiming my health, love, happiness and wealth, acknowledging that just like the air I breathe, they too in their pure ( not corrupted by greed, fear and desperation states) are to be provided to me just because I exist.

So Freud, I get it now, I get that there are things that are provided to me simply because I exist and that I have the power to either nurture them or corrupt them.

I understand that I do seek pleasure and I will avoid pain, but this depends heavily on what I perceive to be giving me either and how I interact with it.

And I also understand that in all of this, my true and only focus needs to be on healthy, growing love.

Thanks for taking this time to spend with me.  Don’t forget you can totally comment below or email me your thoughts at ashleeunscripted@gmail.com, Let’s connect!

I’ll see you later!


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