How to Stop Depriving Yourself of Happiness

I used to believe that one of the reasons I was not ‘happy’ was because I did not know what would make me actually happy.

I knew of all the things that would make me feel sad, disappointed, angry and stressed out. Those things I could rattle off like an expert when asked or slip them into any conversation surrounding the ‘What I do not want in my life’ list.

Yet, for all that I knew with pinpoint laser clarity what I did NOT want in my life, I had no idea what I truly did.

I was still unsure about how and what I wanted to spend my days, I was unsure of what would really give me pleasure, make me smile and just give me that boost of joyousness those High vibe people were talking about over the internet.

Then I realised with a start one day, as I caught myself actively dismissing something that would have actually made me feel better, that it was not that I did not know what made me smile, or made me happy… it was that I was actively burying them and choosing to not take action towards doing the things that invoked those happy feelings.

For me and when I asked, a lot more people, it seemed as if  the concept of ‘Happiness‘ was easier to deal with if we allowed it to be a pipe-dream. If we convinced ourselves that happiness was conditional, then when things got rough, we could use this emotion as a cop out and something to day dream about .

To say, ‘this sucks because I’m not happy. I just want to be happy,” even as we know full well we’re not going to truly put in the effort to actually put true happiness into our lives.

Happiness is not a one-off kind of thing, it’s a state of being and it does not negate other emotions. You can be living a very happy life and still get upset or angry about things – trivial or otherwise…, the real difference is your mindset.


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what awaits you:

What genuinely happy people know and do.

Seven (7) key things you learnt when you were younger that are actively blocking you from receiving joy and happiness easily and simply into your life.

Ashlee breaks down how to stop depriving yourself of happiness daily and embrace it instead.

The shocking and neccessary role your intuition plays in this process.

The existential questions that keep you small

How to move forward from your well learnt limiting beliefs, so you can achieve your goals, your way.


How to Stop Manipulating Yourself Into Settling

We manipulate ourselves every day in some way and while it is not always a bad thing depending on the circumstances and the reasons behind this , it can also be one of the fastest ways to losing track of you real end goal(s). 

There are a host of ways and reasons why we may manipulate ourselves, and that includes trying to feel better about a situation, talking ourselves into  doing things  that really we don’t want to do, trying to protect our reputation and/ image,  including staying out later with friends, when really we want to go home, but don’t want them to think you’re a ‘stick in the mud’, rationalize why someone was mean or unprofessional to us, just so we can clear the deal…and the list can go on and on.

The really big challenge with self – manipulation is when we get lost in the lie so deeply and so quickly, that we no longer know which way is actually up; when we tell ourselves that we no longer know what we want or that we should give up on a certain huge outcome that we actually desire.

This is what can lead us to settling for what we have right now, even as we KNOW deep down that it is not what we truly want.

I liken it to when the waiter screws up your order, and instead of calmly explaining this is not in fact what you wanted, you accept the slip-up because of what ever excuse you come up with at the time.

Only it’s times one thousand.

Self-manipulation is not all it’s cracked up to be, when we’re actively doing it to take away our own hopes, dreams and giving up on what our real end goals.

It’s not ok, when we self manipulate out of fear, desperation or anger, because then, we are not pushing ourselves into a better zone, rather we are pulling away from the journey of happiness and growth only to end up entering the bad lands.

 If your feelings are NOT coming from an authentic place within you, then the lie, no matter the worthy cause will start to burst out of you like Poison Ivy’s vines and when that happens, it will cause you to feel all sorts of emotions you’d rather not, all while doubting yourself and getting even more tangled up in the lie-vines.

I’ll tell you my own story with self-manipulation gone wrong!

I self-manipulated myself for about 6 years, telling myself I was happy with my lot in life, while I was not. 

During that time, I would have told anyone that I was happy, that yes life was rough but I was making due. I would have lied to your face and said I believed it was all going to get better.

And to protect my lies, I pushed down and tried to BURY those urges, those whispers of dreams that resonated too loudly within me.

You know, those fantasies that feel right, but make no real sense because of where you are in your life right now?

Those day dreams that pull and tug at you and haunt your days because really they are exactly what you deeply want and need, but it makes you feel sad because you’ve already decided they are not realistic. And you know on some level that you’re killing off your own potential.

  I almost got myself to believe that I was happy and everything was just fine after a while of constant repetition, but it just refused to stick. 

How could it?

The truth was that I wasn’t that happy about the life I was living or the lack of control over where I was going to be at any hour of the day. I was not happy about feeling trapped and unable to just embrace that feeling that comes with truly happily living!

In the end, I had to stop trying to run from myself and really face it all.


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What awaits you:

Ashlee spills the tea on how she got her self to stop settling for way less than she actually wanted.

Exercises and tips on how to deal with the thoughts and limiting beliefs that keep you playing small.

One of the best ways to stop settling for thins in your life revealed.

How honestly makes it all easier to go after your dreams and what you truly desire.


How to Be Inspired, Without Losing Yourself

Have you ever met someone who inspired the hell out of you?!

Like in your mind, they are freaking amazing because of how confident they are, how poised and elegant?

They get stuff done, they look AWESOME and their lifestyle is what you imagine yours to be someday.

They are living the life that RESONATES with you. They are doing the things that you wish, dream and fantasize about doing and you have a little, secret crush on them.

( You know it’s true!)

That’s why you follow them on any and all social media accounts.

Why you need to let them know that you are around in some way- or you’re more of a lurker and you don’t like anything on the accounts, but you are always aware of their posts and they give you LYFE!

They just freaking resonate with you and they inspire you to be better and to want more from your life. They did it, and they are so sure that you can too.

Annnnd here’s where things get tricky.

For some of us, it’s not enough that we are inspired and motivated to be better, instead we get triggered and start to literally model ourselves after our role models or celebrities.

It starts off small, maybe we start to mimic some of their behaviors, the way they express themselves, even their gestures. Maybe we start altering the way we think about things and can recall how they dealt with a specific situation, so we try it as well.

 And then we start to compare ourselves, which in some cases lead to either you deciding to improve yourself, or you try to replace yourself with a version that is more them than you.
The problem comes when you start to forget who YOU are and what is so SPECIAL about you.

When you start to compare yourself and keep coming up short and decide that you are just not good enough.

People, it’s time to get real and realise that you are you for a reason. That you are special in your own way and to realise that the same people that are inspiring you, are not trying to change their core self, but has accepted it and has chosen to continue to grow.


CONTINUE READING!

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what awaits you:

Self reflection exercises to gain clarity on what you think is so awesome in their life as it compares to your own.

Guided prompts to help you get specific on the success you’re actually desiring and how to get there for yourselff.

Guided prompts into reconnecting and boosting your self-confidence that you can have and be exactly what you desire.